Ugh today was just Ugh. I had a really good, yet really crappy day. If it wasn't for mocks it would have been brilliant. but sadly no. Mocks fucked everything up! I was all nervous and I had a right to be. I cried a bit when I got them. :/ Some people did worse than me, so it's not all bad, but I'm one of those people who will get upset if I got less than a C. Which I did in all but 1. That was Biology, so proud! But we do not speak of my other grades cause I am disappointed in myself.
Everyone is like they are only mocks, why does it matter? You will improve. Fair enough, but to me being given a bad grade under any circumstances just lowers my self-esteem. This is mainly because I am constantly put down by my sister being a genius. It kind of sucks being the younger sibling. But getting bad grades also leads into the whole fear thing from yesterday where I am scared of people secretly judging me or pitying me. I hate pity.
That is another reason why today sucked. A lot of my friends got high grades, and in the subject I got my worst grade in. So I felt pretty suckish. Well really suckish. Yeah I am happy for them cause they deserve it, but I feel I deserved something a little better. Why do people pity each other? I hate it. I know I have already mentioned this but that is how much I hate it. UGH!
Let's just end this here before I lose the will to live. To wrap up, mocks suck and I hate being pitied. There was some good things about today, like failing at drawing 50p's and the demand for cake. Yeah my friends did a good job of distracting me. LOVE YOU!!! If it wasn't for them I probably would just rage quit life.
See you in the 'morrow!
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