London + Harry Potter Studios!

Hello. So in my previous post I talked about things I am looking forward to. One of which being my trip to London with my sister, in which we are visiting the Harry Potter Studios.  Woo!

My day didn't start off that swiftly. I was incredibly tired and couldn't find half the things I wanted to pack. But I still made it to the bus stop on time. Only problem being that the bus didn't actually turn up. All was well though because I got a lift to the train station. I met with Hal and we got our tickets, and some much needed food. Then walked all the way down the platform to the carriage, and were forced to awkwardly sit opposite two strangers.

 

 Then after lots of trying to stay entertained, we arrived in Londinion. First we just found a Costa and made a plan to go to Oxford Street and shop. But not being so good with understanding tube maps. We ended up at Green Park trying to locate Buckingham Palace. So all the cool pictures I managed to get made it worth it. Plus Hariette presented me with a Selfie Stick. I had lots of fun.
Then we thought we should head to Watford and get ready for the studio tour. So we hunted for a McDonald's to get a quick bite to eat and panicked to the tour bus. And then there was a tonne of waiting. And waiting and waiting. And alas the tour began. And I'm not going to post too much because I don't want to spoil it for people who are thinking about going. But I loved the great hall, the forbidden forest (although slightly terrifying) and Hogwarts itself. I got to ride a broomstick, and look fabulous doing so. And witness some awesome animatronics to show how they brought the films to life. Baby Voldemort was my favourite. And I spent a ridiculous amount of money buying a replica of Fred Wesley's wand and a Ravenclaw robe. But I looks so damn cute!

 Then after being there for 4 hours, we headed to a nandos, are got to our hotel and slept. I then had the worst cold of a lifetime, and Hal was all get ready get ready. And we headed out to explore Watford. Going into their version of Chapelfield there's being ultimately more awesome because there was just a random train driving through it. Then we got some food at the local spoons. Where they sold pizza!

It was when we were at spoons however, we realised our whole afternoon of shopping in Camden and Oxford Street would be cut short, as we thought our 14.30 train home was a 4.30 train home. You can see how me made this error. So we panic walked to the overground so we could panic get to M&M world and Disney store then panic back to Liverpool Street to get the train all in like 2 hours. Surprisingly we managed this. And even though I ache and money has oozed out of my bank account. I had a fabulous time.

So thank you to my wonderful sister for suggesting we have this little trip together. And to me for reminding her that she said we would go after she said she'd booked tickets when she actually hadn't.

Hope you enjoyed this post and a fair few of the pictures I took. See you when I see you!

Positive Thinking.

As I haven't been in the greatest frame of mind in the past month I thought I'd spend my time focusing on the exciting things coming up in my life. Because I thrive on having something to look forward to. Whether it is in years to come or just around the corner. Goals are important to me. But making sure they are attainable is more so. Still there are a few events coming up that I am super excited for mainly because they are firsts for me.

To start with, my wonderful sister is taking me to go see the Harry Potter Studios! I've been to London before so that isn't as new and exciting. Well I guess it's my first time with Hal. But I am excited to go see Hogwarts and the forbidden forest. And I will spend lots of money. But since I physically can't move out anytime soon I shall spend it while I can.

Then on the 16th I am attending a wedding. Which I am worried about because I have no idea what goes on at a wedding and my only comfort are work friends. Who I still get worried that if they hang out with me too much realise I am weird. But I'm not going to let that stop me. Weddings seem like so much fun and I am honoured I'm being asked to share this day. I've battled to decide on a dress but I think I've found one and now I just have to worry about shoes. I'm stressing a little about getting my hair cut in time but that's not too bad an issue I guess. And I'm going to dye my hair for the ocassion.

Which is another thing I am excited for because I am going back to red. I usually go for a purple and it fades to a reddish brown pretty quickly. So I looked back at old photos and reminisced aboutique the beautiful red hair I used to have. Hopefully it doesn't go badly. 

Another thing I pray will not go badly is my holiday in July. I booked all the hotels and we have a brief plan of action and I could not be more excited to spend a week away with Matthew. I get to see Dolphins! And pandas. But to be honest if I don't I'm not too fussed because I'll have Matt with me and he makes me happy enough without even trying. I think I'm just worried that he won't have a good time more than anything. 

So those are a few things for now. But I need to find some more before they come and go. Because if not I fear I'll end back where I started. But if you evereally feel stressed or down, focus on those positive exciting things! It's definitely what I am going to keep doing. 

See you when I see you!

The Good Weekend

Hello. So following the somewhat negative posts of recent weeks I thought it would be good to take about my relatively good weekend.

I started it off hanging out with the guy who can make me smile without doing anything. Then Saturday evening was devoted to a small meal for my work friend who is getting married in a couple of weeks. Which was interesting as I've hung out at my colleagues houses before but we have never been out. I was a little nervous because I'm worried that people don't get on with me when they get to know me but I had a great time. Starting it off in spoons and there was a comment on the fact I was actually wearing a dress, then there was more comments on how quickly I can drink a sex on the beach.  And it was nice. We then went for a meal at Coast to Coast where I had some more cocktails. But I ate some yummy food too. And I had a lot of fun. 

Sunday was more of a chill day which I was not slightly hung over for... and I went to see my grandparents which was nice and we went for a meal and then looked around my dad's new favourite store. After all this my sister and I just chilled watching TV and playing sims.

To top off this much needed weekend was a bank holiday! Thank God I don't work back holidays. And some friends and I went to the Brickmakers charity event. We had a little catch up, spread some gossip, danced to Amy's boyfriend's band's music and then waited and waited and waited to go on a bouncy castle.  Which was fun enough in itself. I got to wear a funky hat. And I fell over.  So much fun.

To conclude I had a simply great weekend and I would like to thank everyone who helped make it that way. Because recently I really need times like this to look forward to.
See you when I see you!

The Cursed Week.

The events of the past several days has lead me to label this The Cursed Week. Not necessarily the bad things happening to me, but just a sense of what else could go wrong, what else could make everything more stressful. 

As you have probably seen from my recent blog posts that I'm not really in the best of places. Don't get me wrong I am getting happier and trying to distract myself from the stress. But that doesn't really deal with the problems. They are still there. And I struggle knowing what to do with it. Because most of it comes from work, and I don't know what I can do. As I love it there, usually, and this is what I want to do in future, so leaving will just make things more complicated. But this very moment in time work sucks. 

We all work long hours, get moaned at for the little things we do wrong but never get praise for the mass amounts of effort we put in. Which then in some vicious cycle leads to us getting more things wrong, or making ourselves ill so we don't go to work making everyone else more stressed. Last week in particular was just stupid. Photo day at the nursery is a crazy day on it's own because the children go crazy when not in routine. But add to that the fact 4 members of staff were not in. It was a nightmare. Then a friend had to go home because she was having pains and everyone worked pretty much the whole time the nursery was open. And for me and a few others the work doesn't end there, because I come back to do coursework. Which I think management fail to remember. 

Then when the staff returned the next day it is like they failed to appreciate the good things we did. So the mood goes down, and things go wrong. So I was already wanting to give up by Wednesday. Which has become a pattern now. We are not even going to discuss the events of Thursday but it lead to a few of us at work just bursting into tears. It just made me thankful that Friday for me was a half day, so I actually got time to relax. 

As the new week has started I am worried that the cursed week will still haunt us. Yeah it's not been as bad in terms of incidents, but we have all still been working ridiculously long hours. We still don't get thanked for that. We still don't get appreciated for the good things we do. We still feel so physically and mentally drained that we don't want to do anything. So then we get stressed because we have other commitments in our lives. But what am I meant to do? Because right now I see no hope in it getting better, but as I said before, if I leave before finishing my qualification I've gone through all that for nothing. 

Wish me luck, and I promise I will try to be more upbeat in my next post. See you when I see you!

Tips For Life.

As I have now spent a month in adulthood I thought it would be nice to share some tips I am figuring out on how to live. But I realised that it would be hypocritical of me. Because I have no idea what is going on, and how I can make it livable. Let alone am I acting like an adult. Maybe it is to do with my youthful look as my sister always tells me. But does anyone truly act like an adult? We all have moments I'm sure. Moments you want to act like a little kid, moments you do things that are immature. To me it's because being an adult is stressful. I'm constantly worried about work and time and what would happen if I don't complete my responsibilities. Which in turn makes me feel like I'm neglecting things that make me happy. And if I'm not happy, am I living? 

I've made lots of mistakes. More than I can count. And I know for a fact I am not the only one. But I try to pride myself on making up for mistakes. Trying to be better. It's why I try and be less of a shit to my parents. It's why I want to always be there for my friends, even when they say they don't need it. It's why I hate letting people down. It's why I work so hard. And now it's why I feel so shit. I try and do all these things to make up for my mistakes. But in reality people still think what they want. They still think I do the horrible things I haven't done since I was in high school. So what's the point in acting like an adult when no matter how hard I try I will never be perceived as one. 

But my tip can't be don't make mistakes. As it's the learning experiences, and you never know it is a mistake until you've made it. I can't even give tips on how to deal with it. People say ignore it, people say prove them wrong. I've tried. I'm sick of trying. I just want to curl up into a little ball and forget the world exists. Forget that I exist. 

I don't think there are any tips for life. We all simply exist. Successful or Not. Happy or Not. And it just sucks. I'm sorry that this is such a downer, and I don't even think it makes complete sense. But as I've said countless times, this blog, these posts, are my therapy sessions. So thank you for being there. I'll see you when I see you. 

Friend.

Dear Friend,
It's a strange word isn't it. Well actually when you think about it all words are strange but let's not get into that. A friend is something different to everyone. To some it's someone you hang out with, you have lots of them. Others it's someone who is there for you and you only have the one. No answer is the same. To me it's both. I have lots of friends I enjoy hanging out with, but not all I would, I wouldn't say trust but, not want to burden with my problems. All of my friends however, I try to be there for.

And yes, Dear Friend, I fail sometimes. But nobody is perfect. However, I am not the only one. I do not stand alone. But calling out these people doesn't make me any less to blame. It just means I cannot be the only one to place blame onto.

I remember a time, I treated people so poorly because I thought it would make me happy. I thought I needed the approval of a so called "Friend" but for them to make me do that is not friendship. So I built on that. Yes I broke it a couple of times. There are no excuses for those. But I want to take this time to say there was a high school rumor I helped to spread, but I want you to know I didn't create it. Not saying that excuses my actions of spreading it. I just need you to know that. Then I tried to build it all back up again, and it worked. Slowly and carefully it worked. I trusted you with secrets, I told you things that I probably shouldn't have. But you were my friend.

I remember when you went through a difficult time. I worried about you. I talked to your family even when you didn't want me to, and actually got mad at me for it. But it's what you needed. I did it to help. because I was your friend. I've seen you get hurt lots of times, and it has hurt me. Which is why I wasn't so trusting to the new happiness. I feel so bad that I can't be happy for you, but I'm too wary of you getting hurt. Which sounds stupid, Dear Friend, but it's how I feel. However, I continued seeming like it wasn't a thing, until I felt I got pushed to the sideline. It was all about this new thing. and it made me feel like everything I'd done, how hard I tried to be your friend, didn't mean as much to you as it meant to me. Because you had your new thing to keep you happy.

So yes. I'd complain about it. Yes I'd bitch about it. Because I was hurt. It's how I deal with being hurt. And I think it's why our other Dear Friends have done the same. But I just want to get one thing straight. If you think I am the person to comment harsh things behind a screen to directly hurt someone you are mistaken. And the fact you think that of me hurts me so much.

As far as I am aware, the person who posted on your Instagram was not a friend. As for the blog post, I genuinely have no idea who that was. I didn't even know about it until another friend had told me. Which is why I screenshotted something which I feel then made you think I had done the thing. But I only did that so I could check you were okay with that third party friend. (Sorry if that got confusing). The point is. If they weren't friends. Why do words like this keep popping up?

Even after you said this to me.





I know I'm no saint. Dear Friend. I know I shouldn't bitch. I regret things I say, but it never stops me saying it again. But I just want you to know that I've only ever done it when I get hurt by something. Which I know is hypocritical because it then hurts someone else. But unfortunately for people in this day and age it's a natural coping mechanism. And there isn't anything we can do but try to move forward.

Which I tried to do with you. I explained the situation and wanted to continue being friends. But since you cannot move on, Dear Person. I am truly sorry. I tried and failed. I just want you to know that I would appreciate if you could stop highlighting my failure. Because how is that acting anymore grown up than myself. We are hypocrites. I've accepted that. I will admit to my wrong doings, because trying to make up for it, will make me stronger. And yeah this post itself can be considered petty or whatever. I just wanted you and everyone to know, that I suck as a person. I suck as a friend. This is me going to deal with that.

To any other friend I have wronged I am sorry. Acting and Feeling sorry is all I can do.

See you when I see you.

Those Happy Times.

Hello. So as I've just celebrated the 3rd birthday in the last month I thought now would be a good time to talk about how I celebrated these happy times.

First we will start with mine and Maddy's as it came first. It's only logical.  We technically had two celebrations. One being a group get together for drinks and a catch up which was nice despite the bailing. But I got an apology for that. The other was a beach trip. Which was great despite the cold weather.

It started by Matt meeting me and giving me my presents then Emma came along and I opened hers and we chatted and drove to get Maddy who was late. As always. And we exchanged gifts which was fun. Then it was the drive there which was mainly chatting. At Hemsby we met with Paige, Lish, Amy, Jordan and Scott. And after saying a quick hello to my Nan who partially lives there, we went off to the arcade. Where I think we annoyed the people working there from constantly asking for them to get our prizes.

After this we had the idea to go mini golf! Which was hilarious because we were all shit at it. Our team had the rule of only 5 shots or you get 10 points. If not we'd have been there for years. Especially since we would hit it off the course and into the river and plants and anything else really. So despite getting a hole in 1 I didn't win, but Maddy got me a medal to make me feel special.

Once that was over we went to the amusements and everyone went on the waltzers. Let's just say some had more fun than others. So we decided to go on the dodgem cars which was crazy. And the main time I decided to take pictures. I really hurt my knee when people crashed into me. Some of us also decided to go into the haunted house and I'm not proud to admit I had a genuine freak out. But it was pitch black and I knew something would scare me. Which scares me more than something scaring me.

Then after all this excitement we went to the beach, and thankfully I had Scott who was crazy enough to join me in the sea. And Amy's boyfriend Jordan briefly joined us for a dip which was awesome. Even though when we finally had to leave the sea I was freezing cold. Getting changed was a nightmare. The gang then ate cake and I opened some more gifts and we just chatted as time flew by. We parted ways in the separate cars, but met back up for a sneaky McDonald's. It was a great birthday.

Like a week later was Siobhan's birthday, and she kept it simple with a meal to Frankie's and Benny's. It was on a weekday so I came straight from a long shift at work. I had fun chatting away, drinking my F Navel. It was much more relaxed but not any less enjoyable. I did feel really bad that I wasn't my best self, because I didn't want to ruin Siobhan's celebration. So once again to Siobhan I am really sorry. I love you.

An apology should also be said for Paige. Because during her birthday celebrations I again wasn't giving it my all because I was so tired from work. But I really did try. I enjoyed the chitchat of predrinks and eating pizza. Then putting make up on Scott and getting the bus. Drinking an entire pitcher of sex on the beach and going dancing. Trying to safely get Paige home and telling her about all the things she did. Perks of staying sober.

Even though I don't really seem up to these things. It doesn't stop me wanting to and trying. Because the way work has been lately and how stressed I feel. I need these moments. No matter how small they are. To try and take my mind off things. So to all my friends I am sorry I seem down or off in the moment, but it doesn't mean I don't want to be there. It just means I'm very stressed out and want to spend time doing things I enjoy but feel I don't actually have time for that. I don't know.

Hang on to those happy times guys. Adulthood is hard. And I'm sorry for a weird post and how I've been, but it's complicated. All I can do is hope. See you when I see you!

Two Dots.

So like any normal human being. Well at least I hope it is normal to be like this. I
get very involved in certain phone games. It consumes a lot of time, and then after months I forget about it and move on to a new game. In the past my crazes have been 2048, My Little Pony, Sailor Moon, Jelly Splash, Flow and Crossy Road. The most recent game is as the title suggests.

Basically it is one of those connect the dot games, that has
little goals. Like clear a certain number of colours, break the ice, get the anchor to the bottom. Blah blah blah. And I am addicted. Luckily it has a set amount of lives with a timer so unless I pay, which I will never be that addicted to do. There are also events alongside the main "story game" which I am currently at level 168. Just to keep things interesting. I prefer the dash ones more because I find there is a lot more craziness going on in a single move, because of the bombs and bugs and gem things. I love chaos sometimes.

Really I get addicted to the games because it's a nice escape.
I'm all for escapism, hence why I blog, hence why I watch random series on Netflix, hence why I do most things I do. But anywho, I don't really have much else to say so here are some pictures of the game. I suggest playing it. Unless you don't want to see coloured dots every time you close your eyes...

Wow even when writing this blog post I still play it. Now on level 169. Wish me luck guys. I'll see you when I see you! That's if I ever look up from my phone.

Stressing Out.

Hey guys, so this is going to be a quick post, because of what the title states. I'm stressed out. Maybe is the links with my arrival into adulthood, maybe it's about how I know people who speak before thinking leading to disastrous consequences, or maybe it's because I just overthink those things. Who knows fully what the cause is. I know more recently my stress is coming from work. I'm contracted to do 40 hours a week but I'm there more like 50 and for me work doesn't end at work, because when I get home I have to do coursework to pass my level 3 and it's like they don't think about that or try to help me in any way and I'm just a bit sick of it.

Time for me is a very worrying factor, and it's not that I'm not organised, I have an action plan of what aspects of coursework I want to complete by when, and it's very manageable. But the problem is it's not, because I am exhausted. All of the time. And it's making my social life pretty shitty because I want to go hang out, go out, and I then panic that I am too tired and would have work early or there is a mountain of coursework left to complete. Which annoys me. Because as much as I do enjoy being at work. It's not my life.

It's a difficult situation at work at the minute which is why I think everyone is stressed out, but it feels like no-one is trying to boost the moral of the team. I've gotten to the point of finding it very difficult to motivate myself to actually get out of bed and go to work at the minute. And I hope it will sort itself out eventually, because this is not the life I signed up for. But right now I don't see anything changing to make me happier.

This is why my blog post has been lacking recently. Which I really hate because to me this is my escape and distraction from things that stress me out. But I guess I am trying to be responsible in the sense that I know blogging will take time away from doing productive things like coursework or from sleeping. Both things I probably need to do more. So I'm sorry about that. I am trying at least. Maybe that's my problem. I try to do so many things, please so many people. Would it be better to just be selfish and think about myself?

I don't know. But I do know that I will see you when I see you!

2 Decades Old.

Birthdays are weird when you think about it. You spend so much time worrying about who you want there, what gifts you must get and how it goes to make it perfect. But does it really matter? Because I don't actually remember much about my birthdays.

For example last year I went to the cinema and then hung out in an arcade with some friends and then met Matthew for the second time, he got me some Ferrero Rocher, I remember vaguely what other gifts I got, and I also remember that the week before I went to Nandos with a big group, and the only thing I recall from that is talking about my Tinder experiences and going on Snapchat. The year before I was at 6th form and myself and some friends decorated cupcakes Amy got me. The year before I played laser tag. Who won, I have no clue. 

Then any birthday before that I could barely match up what happened to the year. I remember going to the cinema, and having some sleepovers. I know for a fact my cousin came to my 13th and that is when I tried smoking for the first time, and then failed dropping it onto my trampoline. There was also one birthday where my mum took me and my friends to McDonald's after ice skating..I think...and Hariette treating them to a McFlurry but one of them didn't say thank you and she jokingly made a big deal out of it. And when I was really young I remember friends coming to my house and we played netball (as I had a hoop in the garden) and I got so angry and upset because they wouldn't let me win on my birthday. 

It's so weird thinking that out of my 20 birthdays I only remember a minuscule amount about like a 1/4 of them. Yet I spent so much time worrying that they had to be perfect. Don't get me wrong I still worry. Like to me it is very important who I get to see on my birthday, and it does tend to stress me out trying to balance everybody in my life. Luckily this year I got to see most people I wanted to, aside from a few friends. And I did have an amazing birthday, even though the weather did fail me. But I didn't let that stop me. However, I am too busy to finish my birthday tale in time for the post to go up, so I guess you'll just have to wait. 

Sorry about that. See you when I see you!

Snapchat.

Hi there. Today we are going to have a pointless little post just to fill
the space until something interesting happens in my life. So the topic is Snapchat. More specifically Snapchat filters. Which have been around for God knows how long, but I have only had access to them for the past 4 months. Luckily they still get used. This reason being because my old phone never updated enough to get them to work, so when I got my new phone it was basically for this reason, and then when at first it didn't work and my sister laughed in my face. However, as you can tell by the pictures and the fact there is actually a post means that it did!






Now a theme I enjoy about the snaps are how they do try and change what ones you can use daily, because I
admit I'd get pretty bored if it was the same thing all the time. Which is why I do have a hate for the over used ones such as the dog filter. Sorry I just can't. And then some are just slight variations of the same one, like with all the bloody types of flower crown. Although I do admit I look good in the flower crown. Which is the main reason I like the filters because it makes me look 10x better on a good day, imagine the possibilities on a bad one!

I don't really know what else to say
about Snapchat. I enjoy the story feature and getting random images or videos from someone. And I do enjoy how it cannot be permanently viewed unless you take a screenshot. Not that I send anything crude enough for me to want it erased. I mainly just send selfies to Matt in the latest filter update and then move on with my day. Occasionally updating my story if I can come up with a fun enough tag line, or there is actually something going on in my life.









So as there isn't really that
much in depth to talk about I thought the best filler would be sharing some of the saved pictures I have of me in my more favoured filters. Enjoy!

See you when I see you!

99 Things That Bring Me Joy.

The other week I posted about a book I purchased in which you fill in most of it based on prompts. If you want to see that click this link. In this post I do mention the book I am going to talk about now. Even though I do not think I named it correctly. But there are still 99 things in it so I believe I am close enough. Anywho...

99 Things That Bring Me Joy is basically a little memory book that prompts you to write about weird little things that bring you joy. So I liked it because it encourages the more positive and happy memories we should want to look back on. Therefore I purchased a pretty pen to match the theme of the book and began filling in answers here and there. Which again I thought would be nice to share.

The main thing I do love about this book is just how cute it is all set out. Like someone has taken care into the design and the style and I like it a lot. But yeah things like this really appeal to me and I may be a little bit obsessed by them. Is that a problem though? I guess we'll never know. See you when I see you!

The Collector.

I become obsessed with things very easily. If I think it is interesting or cute I just want to indulge myself in it and have as much of it as I physically can. Which is why I have growing collections of pointless things. Some are slowly coming to a stop, but the amount I do get to is worrying. When I was younger this collection was Buddhas. Don't ask me why because I honestly could not tell you. But I had more than a ten year old girl should have. I still have some of them now because I find it weird to part with them, but couldn't be bothered to take a picture. Mainly I think because they are not displayed on my shelves of awesomeness.

The following collections are however. Firstly being Blott Rubbers. And if you have been with my blog since the beginning you would have witnessed this obsession progress. I have calmed down now though. Mainly because the shop has closed... But still be proud!

Next we have another cute item. Tsum Tsums. Originally I was only going to have Mickey, then the disney classics, then just one from each movie I liked. Then I snowballed a little out of reasoning. But in my defense a lot of them were gifts...

Finally the one that has gone a bit out of control to the point I don't really know what to do with them. Funko Pop Vinyl Figures. And I was interested in these before they were cool (Hipster before Hipsters or whatever) But yeah I first had a small collection then I'd say mainly recently I have gone a little bit mad. THEY ARE SO AWESOME THOUGH. 

As you can see on the shelves there are some snails and my little pony things. These are small collections that have other features somewhere in my room, but have not reached the point of really mentioning.

Hopefully I will stop being a weird collector/hoarder as some might start calling it, because they are all things I do not need in my life. I mean they are but... At least I have some financial stability to fund my weird obsessions. Hope you enjoyed this and I'll see you when I see you!

Adulting.

As I like to constantly remind myself (and anyone who will listen) this year I am going to turn 20. 20! I will finally move on into adulthood which I am ready but, so not ready for. Obviously therefore, I am going to write a blog post about this. Here goes.

One thing I consider to be an adult like thing, is Travelling. Because even though you can travel as a child, the organisation of it goes to the adults. And recently my group of friends were informed of  a change. Grimshaw is leaving to go to Australia for 5 months. I applaud that bravery, because I do not think I'd be ready for that. I haven't ever been out of England letting alone living in a country for over a 1/3 of a year. I wouldn't know anyone and I wouldn't have my little comforts. But I guess the fun is in the adventure.

Similarly, there is planning holidays. I am always scared of booking holidays because I would be worried I have gotten something wrong and thus ruining the entire trip. But I love to plan. It's a weird cycle. A while ago Lish mentioned the group going to centre parks for a little holiday and I am very excited if this were to actually happen.

A big adult thing that I have been trying to do for a while now, is moving out. And I am getting further along with this process by viewing more flats. It is a big scary step and I'm not entirely sure of the entire process that goes with it. So far I just look around thinking, convenient location, nice kitchen, decent sized bedroom and I forget about the other side of things. Which is why it is nice I always have help and a second opinion when I go to see these places. I just find it difficult trying to organise these things around work because lettings agents don't open until I am already at work and then they close before I finish and then when I finally get through to somewhere the flat has either gone or they are fully booked. It's very annoying.

At work I feel I am becoming more of an adult because I am getting more responsibility. Now having my own key children! Which is great but I am worried I am going to let my manager down, because she has such high hopes of what I can accomplish and sometimes I look at the planning like I have no idea what to do. But I guess everyone who works there had that at some point. I hope. And since there has been a few changes within the room I am in I've all of a sudden become like second in charge and I had to write the agenda for our room meeting and am expected to take control, which is weird because I am like one of the youngest employees.

So slowly and surely I am becoming an adult. But I don't really want to. I enjoy being silly and childish. And I like the comfort of knowing others can help me with things because I'm only little. Well I guess I will still be little. Stupid Vertical Challengedness. I also don't think I am emotionally stable enough to be an adult. But it is something we all have to do. And if I want to live the way I do I need to do it. Wish me luck. See you when I see you!

642 Tiny Things To Write About.

So a while ago, I was with my friends in the city. And the two of them being bookaholics we ended up in what I like to call Claire’s second home. Waterstones. Now I was intrigued by a particular section in the shop which were these brand of books that are about creativity. So they all provide ideas and you fill in the rest. Basically they charge you lots of money to do most of the work yourself.

I love things like this, because I love looking back at the past. So
mainly I wanted to have something to look back on and remember all the times that are mentioned. I went for the book “642 tiny things to write about” Because there was a bigger version that could have been purchased. It’s a pretty good book so far. Like some things they encourage you to write about are personal, and then others are completely bizarre. Which is nice. But I think I would have preferred one which was fully about myself, because then it would be easier to write about. Because I’m not really that creative. Coming up with my own ideas really panics me because I don’t like doing things wrong. So I would have preferred the other book I saw which was “99 things I love” which basically list the things you love. Claire convinced me that the one I got was more for your money so I was sold on that premise.

As it was going to be a special project I got myself a special pen to write all my thoughts in and got cracking. Asking my friends to choose a topic they found interesting and I started filling it in. And slowly I have been adding more and more. I’m not really sure I can complete it any time soon because there is so much, and some things are about recalling things about your first car, and I haven’t even owned that yet. There are ones I have also started but not yet finished because I am creatively inept in some instances. But I thought it would be interesting to share some of the first ideas with you guys.

As much as I do live this book I am finding it a challenge. Because I am probably focusing too hard on trying to be funny more than creative or honest. But if that's the way I wish to write in it I guess that is my prerogative. Wish me luck in completing it. See you when I see you!

The Party Don't Start 'til I Walk In.

A beautiful quote from the magnificent Paige on my first venture out into the clubbing experience. And honestly Paige has never shown me her party side to this extent and I was nervous about that. And I did spend about an hour before I left about how I really didnt want to go. Because I've never been out before and had no idea what it would be like and that kind of thing panics me. But I'm so glad I went because we had so much fun.

So I started off meeting Paige and Scott at Revs  where we hoped our friend Connor could serve us. But unfortunately he was in the kitchen. Scott bought us some shots. I had the "Love Candy" and "Mango and Pineapple" which were nice but the latter had a weird after taste. Then, after a bit of chat, we separated so Paige, her sister and I could go to the Harry Potter night at the Cabana Club. Basically there was more staff than customers and it felt like there was nothing to do with HP. All I really remember is Paige getting really excited about a woman handing out lollipops in the bathroom.

So we met Scott at waterfront after a very cold wait in the queue. And again Scott got us drinks. And I at first felt very awkward dancing, because I thought people would judge the way I danced. As well as this I didn't really know the first few songs that were playing. But then you hear that one song and I got very into it. Belting out Mr Brightside and I believe in a thing called love were some great moments. And this was until 3 am. And considering I left home at 7am to go to work I was very surprised I was that active for so long.

I'm still not completely confident in the night out experience. There was awkwardness when you didn't know the songs. And people trying to push into you. Like there was a couple who pushed into me because they were too into grinding each other. And I mean whatever floats your boat, but I don't want to be subjected to that. Also the toilets were a fucking nightmare. For girls anyway. Scott was in and out while Paige and I were still queuing. It was funny though when this bitch of a girl barged her way through not even apologising because her friend was about to puke and karma hit her when her friend starting puking on her face.

There were some good moments though when we thought we saw Connor but it turned out to be someone called Stan. But this guy looked so much like him. Dressed like him and even moved like him. So Connor if you're reading. I think you have a twin. And there was a moment when a girl approached me asking if I was okay (I was standing on my own for a minute so for awkward) and she had genuine concern for me then said I liked very nice. It restored my faith in humanity.

In conclusion I'd like to go out again. Because it was really fun. But maybe wear more sensible footwear because my feet really started hurting. Then when I woke up film my four hours of sleep, my legs were in so much pain. Like my thighs just hurt. But I feel that was due to the time I spent dancing linked to how much time I usually spend exercising.  Which is none. But maybe this could be my regular exercise ;) See you when I see you!

Getting a Tattoo.

Yes the title gives away the surprise but... Surprise! I got a tattoo. And it was an experience. So obviously I am going to blog about it.

For a while now I have spoken about getting a tattoo,I always said about getting something meaningful to show support for something I care about. Then my sister got one of fang from Mona that vampire and I thought fuck it. I love cats I love Sailor Moon. So here's my tattoo. In my mind it is supposed to be more of a representation of Luna bit if you are fans of the animal you would know own that it looks more like Artimus because he was white and Luna was a black cat. But either are cute so I don't really care.

If you have known me for a while you would know I have a thing for temporary tattoos and I would always place them on my left wrist, which is why I have opted to place the real tattoo there. Because I just feel my wrists are weird looking so I need something pretty to distract away from it. And now instead of spending lots of money on fake ones that rub off as soon as you have a show I'd spend lots of money that if you take a hot shower too soon after getting it could actually rub off.

  

Part of me does regret getting it a little bit. Because it is not completely what I imagined it being and I am to socially awkward to keep saying how I wanting it asking in a certain way and just assumed they knew more about what they were doing and went along with it. Which you really shouldn't do. But mine is growing on me and I'm glad I proved to myself I am actually capable of doing something like this.

The experience wasn't anything like I thought it would be. You'd look at the design going it won't take that long all they do is print off a stencil and trace it. But no it took half an hour! The guy who did it was like right I'm finished...with the outline. And I was looking at the clock thinking. Someone come save me. Because it wasn't that it was a huge pain that was unbearable. It was just really irritating and constant. Even when he paused the pain was still there. Heck even when it was over. And yeah I knew it would hurt but nothing really prepares you for that. I dealt with it by singing in my head, and the more it hurt the louder I sang.
 

Then when it was all over my arm got wrapped in clingfilm and I was relayed a bunch of instructions on how to care for it I didn't know getting a tattoo required so much work. Plus the guy who was telling me this spoke so quickly I didn't get half of what he said and felt too awkward to ask again. So I'm in a state of panic it's going to get infected or ruined in some way and therefore wasting all the money and time and pain.

I probably wouldn't relive that experience again and it hasn't helped with my fear of needles ad I would have liked it too. But like I said before. I'm glad I did it. Because I'm never really impulsive. Plus it gave me something to blog about! See you when I see you!