Why Do I Even Blogger?

One of the problems I seem to have with this blog, is that I think of all of these things that I could do, and most of the time I never do them. Now this is usually down to not having the time and effort. Because I am at 6th form, I can't do things when I am there, and when I get home I am just too tired. And it sucks because I love blogging (most of the time) I enjoy the escape and the way it helps me let out anger, when I have the occasional rant, or when I talk about something I refuse to say in person. 

It's not like my blog is really popular or anything, so it's not like I have to fulfill some kind of demand to do all of these crazy things. But sometimes I hope that I could become a famous blogger or youtuber because of this, like Pewdiepie, or Dan and Phil, where they get paid to make the videos and they are paid for just spending some time forgetting about the rest of their worries to entertain themselves and others for a few minutes. In a way I want that to be my fall back. Because at the rate I am going I am never going to find a stable job. A career I am proud of and that makes me happy. But I will never be popular enough. Which is why I guess my mind thinks of the creative things, to try and gain more of an audience so I can become youtube famous.

But that isn't why I started this blog. I started it because I thought it can be my escape, my saviour for when I am angry and sad. As well as a way to remember the good times. Because I was never the best at keeping a diary. I started this so in however many years I can read them all through and remember some things I would have probably forgotten, things that would make me smile, things that I would remind the guys about. That's why I blog, and that's why I'm not entirely bothered if nobody reads this. Because I'm not really writing these words for you, they are for me. To keep me sane in my mad world. However I guess I'm not that sane am I? 

However recently I have been finding that I am spending most of my free time thinking about blog stuff, and never do much for me. Like I never play sims because I think that time is better spent doing blog stuff. I hate that. But I think taking away blogging wouldn't be great either. Plus I might be starting a job soon, so I am going to run out of so much time. Maybe I need to rethink things. To find a way to make it easier to do everything I want and need to do. 

See you in the 'morrow!