Writing About Writing

I don't know why but I want to write a book. It is an idea I have pondered around for a while, because I am weird like that I guess. I just love the idea of writing a story that people will love to read as much as I love reading the books I read. There have been many times I have tried to write a book, but give up part way through. I like to create stories, but I think there is something about writing them down and then having people judge that is what is putting me off. I guess if I ever were to write a book I would use a fake name and tell nobody about it. 

I guess recently this wanting has come from different things. One being the fact I watch a youtuber who is an author and it just fascinates me, when I play sims you can be a best selling author as an aspiration and write books which is pretty cool, and a while ago my friend wrote a short story. In theory it all sounds great, but in practice it probably isn't. It's just something, that I am confused to as why I want it. Maybe it is just a back up plan to my many various career paths I have formulated in my head because I am just so scared of ending up doing nothing with my life, and it will come down to one of those classic school reunions in 30 odd years when everyone is bragging about what great things they have done with their lives and I haven't done anything, so I just lie, and then the truth reveals itself and I get all embarrassed and run away, move to a different country and change my name and face. 

I think that last part was a bit extreme. 

Sometimes when I write some of these posts (especially these thought ones) I always imagine myself as a narrator of a story and that the words I am writing (typing) would be what my character would monologue, and then I hear myself in my mind reading this out as if the book became a film and as the titles are running and random shots are being shown this is the narration over the top of it. Which is why sometimes I try really hard to use different sentence types, and fancy words and make it sounds better, when all I really want to do is just repeat myself with simple words or even made up ones like meh. 

I'm not really sure where I was going with this post, but I think that was the premise behind Elli's thoughts. They would just purely be the thoughts in my head as I have them. 

See you in the 'morrow!