That's Life.

Hello! So you may have noticed there was not a video yesterday. That is for two reasons. 1. I forgot it was Monday. 2. I went out. Both perfectly legit reasons I feel. So why not just post what I was going to do yesterday today. But don't worry, I will still post the one meant to be for today as well. Unless I get to lazy and tired. We'll just see how it goes! Basically I didn't really know what I wanted to talk about yesterday, but as it was Elli's Thoughts I can pretty much just travel down whatever road I see fit. So let's go with how I am feeling after leaving 6th form. Just a warning it might get a little confusing as I switch between topics.

Currently I don't really feel any different, because I am just treating it as if it is the summer holidays. However when I then see people in school uniform it weirds me out a little because I feel like I should have been in a school environment. So I guess it is a little odd. But when I am just chilling at home I rather enjoy it. And chilling at home is what I have mainly been doing. I have been working weekends though. 

I was going to start working at work during the week, but I thought I would give myself a summer holiday as I would never have one again, which is insanely weird to think about. Then I was going to ease myself into it. However, after some back and forth calling my apprenticeship got in touch and I will be starting that so I can't really work during the week. But I think that is going to be weird for me too as I have never done that kind of work before and while I'm there everyone else would be doing something else like chilling and meeting up. But as mum always tells me. That's life. She also tells me that I should continue working at my current job on weekends. Which to an extent I agree with because it would be nice to have a little extra money and I would miss some of the people there when I leave. But ultimately I don't want to tire myself out which could make my new job suffer. Plus I would have coursework to do so if I worked weekends there would be no time to do that, and no time to meet up with anyone. Plus I do kind of hate my job for how tired it makes me. So I will just see how the summer goes I guess. However, the heat does make the job a hell of a lot worse. 

In other news slightly related to this, I am nervous about starting my apprenticeship because more than anything I am scared I will fuck it up. Because if I fuck up my dream what else is there? Judging from exam season I have fucked that up so wouldn't be able to go to uni, and I'm not sure where to find another position like the one I would have. Then I would probably become depressed. Which I wouldn't really want. So yeah I am nervous about the next year. Probably more nervous than I was about 6th form. But in the words of my mum. That's life.

I'm not entirely sure where to go from here because I am kind of tired. Plus my head is going off on a tangent and I can't really get it back to make a decent post so I guess I shall leave it there. Sorry this kind of  sucked. See you in the 'morrow!