Jubilant July.

So it is August now, and boy does time fly by, therefore the only natural thing to do is talk about how I spent my July. Which was primarily with a baby, but there's a few other fun things around that.

To start the month I was waiting around the flat for the midwife to come check Nora over, they were very happy, and discharged us. Which was a relief to know I was doing something right. In the afternoon we ventured out to a place in the city called Revolution Portraits to see which picture of Nora from her photo-shoot I wanted to keep. I was very worried entering the building that I would be very tempted to get all of them, but I could not justify that £200 purchase. Luckily for me there was one stand out adorable photo, so I chose that one and then returned home to spend my evening in the usual way. Caring for Nora, and hanging out with Dean. On the 2nd it was finally time to register Nora's birth, where mum and dad took us out to

Earlham Library which was a pretty cute little library, and we met a very nice lady who made the birth certificate. It makes everything that little more real to see my name under the mother section of a birth certificate. And to see a name I have chosen as her official name. Nora Allyce Rose looks very pretty on a birth certificate. After this I was then treated to a meal at the pub across the road, and Nora had a nice time interacting with her Nanny and this little elephant toy she has. The next day was pretty chilled, before meeting Hariette in the afternoon for some food at Ed's diner, which was upsetting because they have changed their menu to remove the only Veggie Burger I would eat :'( and  then we did some shopping.

The Thursday was a pretty chilled day, and then in the evening  I went to go see Maddy at the Cathedral Gardens, as it had been forever since I saw her. We had a bit of a rough patch after Nora was born, but do not fear as we are good now! Nothing can break up the dynamic duo of Maddy and Elli. So it was lovely seeing her, and she had her first proper hold of Nora which she really liked. The next day my Nannie came to visit, dropping of the baby sling she got for me, it took a while for us to figure out how to use it. And then we drove out to introduce Nora to my Granddad. He was very pleased to see her, even though for some reason he kept

thinking her name was Arina. But when one of his workers came in he was very proudly showing off his Great-Granddaughter, saying her name correctly this time. And when we got back to the flat the rest of the family were waiting for us, Nora had some lovely sleepy cuddles with her auntie, and I had a good catch up with mum. The only thing is I do have to watch them all argue about who gets to have the first cuddle with Nora. Then that weekend was pretty chilled hanging out with Dean, I think we ventured into the city with the intention of shopping, but only really achieved a food shop. But food is very important. Then on Sunday evening Maddy came to see us, and was very happy she managed to very briefly get Nora off to sleep. When Nora was more awake later we then began singing ABBA, to which Nora definitely moved her hand to Dancing Queen, and it was in no way a coincidence.

The next couple of days were a little stressful as Nora had colic which meant she both wanted to feed but didn't want to feed, and this confusion made it so she didn't sleep either. Tuesday morning I took her to the walk in centre as she wasn't quite registered with her doctor yet, and they checked her over, because I felt she was getting worse despite me using infacol, luckily they said she was fine other than the colic, so I should just wind her for longer to ensure the gases aren't as trapped. That afternoon of the 9th Hariette came for a sleepover! Bringing a delightful Nandos with her. I say delightful I was disappointed that my chips were cold, but I guess with takeaway food there is always that risk. She claimed she came over to help with Nora, which in some way she did as she would help cuddle her to sleep. But when it came to Nora waking in the middle of the night Hariette just slept through it, until right near the end where she held Nora's hand and then proceeded to fall back asleep. In the morning my dad came to see us all and managed to get Nora to suck just her thumb for the first time, which was adorable. They both decided to the head into the city, and I had a relatively good afternoon. Dad returned the next day with mum for yet more cuddles and chatter. It's nice to have them help because I try and get some more sleep, and know that if she

gets upset they can comfort her a little. However, when I can hear her cry I wake up, so it's not the most solid plan. Friday 12th Dean took a day off work to see me, and we decided to try and venture into the city again, again not much really got done, but it's a nice walk around for Nora, and me and Dean get to spend time together. On our travels we ran into Amy on her lunch break, which was really nice as I hadn't seen her since the day after Nora was born. It was a good little catch up and we made plans to try and get the group together. After that we headed over to Revolution portraits to collect my mini canvas! And oh my good she's just so precious.

The next day Dean and I went to go and sort me having an implant put in, because you know I'm not looking for another Nora anytime soon. It was a little scary to be there, but the woman we spoke to was super nice, and made me feel better about it. After we tackled that Dean decided to drive us out to Hemsby, because I honestly think he is addicted to Bingo. To be fair we have collected a decent amount of wins between the two of us since we started coming. And Nora had a slightly better time, she's still not loving the beach scene, but I think with more exposure she'll get there. When we got home, Emily came to visit us, which was a really weird catch up as I haven't really properly spoken to Emily since fireworks night. Yeah that's right. And back then most of the group didn't even know I was pregnant, so here she was meeting my baby. She very kindly got Nora a £20 Disney gift card, and we all know how cute baby Disney stuff is. WOO. Sunday was what I liked to call a lazy day, and then again in the evening Maddy came to visit, and we all had a good chat, and reminisced about nostalgic songs. This was mainly because Nora likes it when Maddy bounces her around, so I was encouraging the music by playing top tunes such as Vengaboys. Some

of those music videos though were pretty disturbing. On Monday I went to go and have the implant put in, so I made the plan of Mum will come and hold my hand, because needles and me are still not friends, despite how many times we came into contact during my pregnancy, and my dad was left at the flat with Nora (for context I literally live on the road where the clinic is, you step out my front door and you can see it). The procedure itself was nothing like I thought, and was over so quickly so I'm glad I braved it. Plus it means that I don't have to worry about remembering to take the pill everyday whilst caring for an infant. After this bravery of mine, mum treated us to a Zak's meal. It was a nice meal as they've introduced Potato Tots!!! I also got some nice photos of Nora in the outside bit with my dad.

On the Tuesday it was a pretty chilled day, I had Maddy come see us on her lunch break for a good chat, and then the afternoon Hariette came round to visit and we tried out Nora's play mat for the first time. She wasn't overly impressed. I made a second attempt the next morning and she seemed to enjoy it a lot more. Then Mum said about us going out for a meal, so I walked Nora down to Riverside and I got to have a lovely Chiquitos. We sat by the window so we could see the river and there was this guy painting, which made me kind of want to paint again. Then we did what we usually do and head over to spoons to enjoy the weather and chat.Following day was a little stressful as I did not feel well, and Nora was refusing to sleep and was very distressed. Luckily I had the support of my parents who came round to help. It was a very long day for me though. I was able to vent my feelings a little the next day as I had my perinatal mental health nurse come to visit, and she was talking about how I've made good improvements so if I was happy they would discharge me in September. Which helped make me feel like I was doing something right. And in the afternoon I met with Hariette in the city after work, going for some food and printing off some pictures of Nora for a scrapbook I was making as a gift for my mum. Saturday was just usual weekend with Dean, and then on Sunday he took us to Hemsby again, and this time my family met us there as well for yet more arcade bingo fun. I used the 22nd as a chilled day in with Nora, as we don't tend to have many of those, and it was a good thing I did because the next day was bizzay. And yes I wrote it like that so you can read it like that for emphasis. It was my mum's birthday so I got Nora ready and we walked down to Riverside to meet the parents at Frankie and Benny's, here we had an amazing deal of 3 pasta meals, and a pizza for £25!!! It was delicious, and Nora was pretty well behaved. My mum really liked the scrapbook I made. It wasn't completely finished, because I have more plans for it, so it will be a work in progress. But it was a nice start. After this we again went for a drink outside spoons, when Maddy messaged  about the exam she had that day so I thought I should go and see her for a bit. I met her at the other local spoons to me.
And funny story when I was with my parents there was this loud obnoxious group of people who eventually left, but turns out they just went to the spoons Maddy was at. So I ran into them twice. More than I ever wanted to run into them. Maddy and I then walked around, going to the food court to chat, and buying stuff in new look. We then decided that we wanted to go bowling, and invited Tom and Dean, but Tom didn't want to, or was busy, or something. But Dean Maddy and I had a pretty good time, even though Nora was starting to get a bit grumpy. We then went to Pizza Hut for some food!

This week continued to be super hot, which Nora was not a fan of, but I think as the days went on I almost mastered how to cheer her up, well keep content. And luckily she was content as I took her to MAP on the Wednesday so I could talk to the young parent support team. It was a really nice chat that made me feel a little more reassured, and I got to experience what their baby group was like. I think I would take Nora, but she needs to be a little older to fully appreciate it. On Thursday mum and dad came round yet again for a visit, trying to get Nora outside in the shade. I then thought to take her on a walk in the city that afternoon because some places are nice and cool, and I thought that might help her sleep a little better. On Friday I met Hariette up the city for some ice cream, which was very nice considering the weather, we then had a little shop around the city. Saturday Nora spent some time with her dad, so I was able to go and experience Pride. I decided to put on my wig and gold top hat, because when else am I really going to wear those objects, and headed out to the city with Dean. We stopped by the Number 33 cafe to stalk Tom and

Maddy, before going to see what was happening at the Forum and Chapelfield Gardens. I think more of the interesting stuff was meant to happen later in the day to be fair, but it was still nice. We had a better time when Maddy and Tom finally joined us. However they struggled to locate us. We saw some amazing things whilst out, like flamboyant Deadpool, and the last gay Dinosaur. I then had to be back for Nora's feed, and once back I just didn't want to go out again, so Dean and I stayed in and ordered Dominos!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday 28th was most definitely a lazy day, and we practically stayed in bed the whole time. But I got to experience Nora's first proper smile. It was so cute! And it made me feel more like a mother to her, than just some kind of food and rocking machine. She has been smiling and making happy responsive noises a lot more since then, which helps make those days where it's just me and her that little more interesting. Mum and Hariette came for a quick visit on Monday, as I was having a little stressful day, so it was nice to be able to chat to them about it all. Tuesday was a much better day as I had my first flat viewing for a potential home for Nora and myself. She stayed in the car with mum, whilst Dad and I nosed around the flat. Which was huge! There was so much storage space, and the kitchen was a decent size. Only issues was that the parking situation was not great, and there was no bath or much of a garden. Which when a small child is involved, but it was a good experience at least. After this I also had a visit from the health visitor who said that Nora was doing well, and she was also able to give me some good advice on how to deal with certain difficulties I'm having, then the rest of the day was pretty chilled out. On the 31st

the final day of the month, I decided it was time Nora met my other baby, Sebbles. So we also braved our first bus trip to Horsford, where she fell asleep. Seb was very interested in seeing Nora and was trying to climb on her to sit, which she strangely didn't mind, when he settled next to her, she was busy exploring his fur, she then had a sleep on her Auntie. That evening once back at the flat, Nora and I had a visit from Scott, which was a really good catch up as I don't think I've really seen him since my Birthday.

So it was a pretty good month when I try to erase the shit parts from my mind. But I guess it can't all be sunshine and roses. It just makes me more determined in a way to make good memories with those I care about. Sorry if this post doesn't make any sense at points, but I'm a lot more distracted nowadays so I just do bits here and there so kind of lose the flow. Anyway, see you when I see you!

Jesting June.

Hello everybody, so after the length of the last post, I felt it was probably safe to keep this as a monthly thing. However, if it gets to the end of July and I haven't completed this post then I probably will just turn it into what I did in the summer, or just give up with it entirely. But since I actually have a moment to myself, I feel I should at least make a start. I went into June with a weird attitude. Because ultimately I was at a high point in my life, I had great friends, I don't think I had ever been closer to my family, I had a wonderful boyfriend, and my daughter was due to be born at any point. But then again that meant I then had to let back into my life the people that hurt me the most. And then when I really thought about it, that hurt all started a year ago, in June. So I just felt like the high point would just come crashing down again. Let's find out!

I began the month doing what I do most days which is hang out with Dean, we went to Iceland, because there large bottle of Yazoo are only £1 and that makes me very happy. As he couldn't spend the whole day with me I then decided I would take the opportunity to dye my hair, because I didn't know when I would be able to have that opportunity again. That evening I met up with Paige to go to Spoons, and I had such a good time with her just chatting about this that and everything, only downside was how long we had to wait for our drinks. The following day started off pretty lazy, but then Dean and I decided that we should probably venture out into the nice weather, and I went to Whitlingham for the first time. It was a long walk but I'm proud I did it,

plus I got some good Instagram shots, and saw the cutest ducklings. June 3rd was Dean's Birthday, so after he had finished work I treated him to a Zak's Meal, because he's never been to Zak's before and that's shocking. We then came back to mine and watched How I Met Your Mother, which becomes a very common theme for us. Next day was a nice family day and we went down to Riverside. First grabbing some delicious food at Nandos, and then Hariette and I went shopping in B&m and Matalan.

However something happened that day that got me in a little bit of a low mood. But after a visit from my Perinatal Mental Health Worker, an amazing chat with Dean who took the afternoon off work, and my mum taking me to the house to have some cat cuddles, I was beginning to feel a lot better. The following day I continued to spend with the parents, watching taskmaster, and I convinced them to go to Chiquitos for food. Later that day I then met with Emma, who drove me to Eaton park, where we met with Paige, Amy and Siobhan. After general chatting, and trying to figure out why these people where having their own photo-shoot, we decided that we wanted food and went to McDonald's. Here I tested out the app payment, and it worked well, got a free hot drink. Woo! As we came in different vehicles, there was a slight race going on, which to nobody's surprise Emma and I lost. Emma drove me back to the house after that, so I spent the next day with the family, where we went out for food again (I know shocker) this time was at the Hungry Horse. After that we went to go visit my Granddad it was a bit of a tough visit as they had issues with his bed, so he went into a chair, and slipped out of it. I've never seen him so

panicked. But once he got a bit of help he did perk up and was talking like his usual self. Informing me and mum about about how he's on new medication and what our Nannie has been up to. I phoned her when I got home, having a good chat. Then Maddy came over and we had a good catch up as she has been busy with study recently. Emma joined us and we continued to natter. And then ordered from Pizza Express. I just love their dough balls. Eventually Dean turned up and we decided to treat ourselves to Sundaes Gelato. So overall a pretty good day.

June 8th was the start of a chilled weekend with Dean, where we went into the city, watched How I Met Your Mother and ordered a Dominos! My god the cookies from there are amazing. The next day we decided to go to the cinema and watch X-Men Dark Phoenix. I got a little uncomfortable in the chair, but it was a really nice night. We then begin labour week. It started late Monday night, where in the middle of watching How I Met Your Mother with Dean, I began to have some contractions. Not like really painful, or close together, just short and random. These continued into the next day, but still being to random to go into panic mode, despite the fact this was the day my daughter was due to be born. I therefore decided that it would be a good idea to ensure I definitely had all that I would need if I was to go into hospital the next few days, and my Dad thought he would come keep me company during this. The next day I had a midwife appointment, so I explained to her how I felt I was in the early stages of labour. She did the usual checks, and said that Baby Brown's head was fixed in position which was a sign. Therefore we just had to wait for contractions to become more regular, and that afternoon, with the help of Maddy and my mother, we began Labour Watch. Which basically consisted of us outside my flat, lunging and wiggling and timing. Finally we reached a very regular 5 minutes apart, so we headed to the hospital. Only to be told I was 1 cm dilated. So yay, I was actually in labour, but Jesus Christ all that for 1cm, I was so upset of how I was going to cope with the next 9. Dean Stayed with me that night to help me feel better, and I didn't get much sleep. The morning of the 13th my mum

picked me up so I could spend time at home, with people around to try and distract me from the pain of contractions. Which at this point felt a lot worse, but went back to being irregular. I had some great cuddles with my cat though. Then around 9pm they started to get really painful, and closer together, so once again I went to the hospital. This time I was told I was only 2cm. I lost my mind. But asked if I could have some other kind of pain relief, as paracetamol wasn't working, and I just wanted some sleep. So they said that I could stay overnight and have some morphine. Again I don't think that really worked for me and I didn't get much sleep due to painful contractions. It was a long night for me and my mum, but at least we had the bay of the ward to ourselves.

We get to the blessed day. Dean came to visit me in the hospital before going to work to check how I was, and after an examination I was now between 2-3cm, but the doctor said that because I was now 3 days overdue that they could try to speed things along for me, and listed a whole bunch of scenarios that I wasn't really paying attention to because I just wanted to sleep. Dean decided to take the day off, and me, him and mum began the brutal journey of my labour. But at 4.40pm my daughter was born! Nora Allyce Rose Brown. Who was 6lb13oz, and had so much hair. It was such a relief that all the pain was over. For a good minute. I then began the roller-coaster ride of additional problems, but at least she was okay. And Maddy stayed with us for the night, which helped me feel a lot more human after the week. That weekend Nora and I had a lot of visitors. Starting with her fathers family, then my good friends Emma, Amy and Jordan. It was
pretty weird watching them interact with her, because she is the first little human in our gang. It was hard enough trying to organise time to see my friends before hand, and now, well. I'm just glad I had this visit. After some rest and figuring out what life in hospital was like, it was somehow the next day. This is where I start losing track of days a little, because newborn routines just get you all kinds of confused. But it was now fathers day, which meant I did have to spend a bit of time with my daughters father...yay (please note the sarcasm). However I did get a visit from my own dad, and my sister. And wow the transformation those two have made, it's so weird to watch them interact with a baby. But I guess it's nice to have a glimpse of how my dad would have been when looking after me and my sister at this age.

Now the weekend was over I thought Nora and I would finally be able to make our way home, and start being like a proper family. I was mistaken, and ended up spending all of Monday, and basically Tuesday in the hospital. The food there was pretty good though. I finally made it home Tuesday evening, and mum treated me to a McDonald's. The first night with Nora went pretty well, and I think she enjoys her new home. That Wednesday was another jam packed visitor day, first being my Nannie, who was very excited to have a new little baby around, and constantly went on about how much hair Nora has. Then my mum arrived in the afternoon to see how we were, and to have more cuddles. I think at this point I was still waiting around for the midwife to come, as they say they'd visit the day after you leave hospital. She did finally arrive after 4, and said everything with Nora was going well. Shortly after Maddy joined, and even Dean came round, so I felt like I had a house full, but it was filled with the people I love so I didn't mind. The following day Siobhan came round and we had a good catch up about everything, before Nora got stressy so Siobhan had to go. My dad then turned up later on that day, because he believes if he visits without others being there he can get more cuddles. He is a strong believer that Nora is obsessed with his beard. Friday 21st I tried

to take Nora out for her first little outing. So after a feed I got her ready and just took her for a walk around the city. First chilling by the river, then exploring the mall. I was then thinking about taking her into my place of work, but then my mum phoned to say her and Dad had come to see us, so I felt I should get her back. Nora then had some lovely cuddles with them. Once they had gone, I fed Nora and we fell asleep. Which lead to some complicated things I don't really want to get into. But basically there is probably going to be a few gaps in what happens in my days, because it involves people I don't really want around, but have to because it's what is best for Nora. Or at least I'm told it's what's best for her.

Anyway... the parts of the weekend I enjoyed were hanging out with the wonderful Dean, who treated me to some ice cream, and gave me lots of cuddles to help me recover. That following week seemed a little busy, first I had my Perinatal Mental Health Worker come to check how I was doing. So I stated that in terms of being a new parent I was fine, which I guess is the main thing. Next day was then a visit from the Health Visitor, who seemed very impressed with how we were doing stating that Nora was very calm with me. After this visit I walked Nora down to Riverside to meet my family for food at Frankie and Benny's. Here I braved my very first public breastfeeding moment, which was an event. After this we chilled at Spoons, as it was a nice day and then I went home to nap. On Wednesday 26th I took Nora into the city, because we were offered a free photo-shoot, as part of the Window to the Womb scan gift-set. At first she was really good, but then in normal Nora fashion she quickly loses interest. Next day I had a haircut, which was like the first one in absolutely ages. But my hairdresser was very keen to meet my little baby, and hear all the recent gossip. After this I had a very long chat with my mum's good friend Jane, and she was offering advice on motherhood, and trying to take some good photos. I think then Friday was just a chilled day really with mum and Hal coming to visit. On the Saturday, I decided to take Nora out to see my Nanny in

Hemsby. She very much enjoyed the car ride up, finally falling asleep 5 minutes before we arrive. But once there, she wasn't having the best of times. I think the weather was a bit too hot for her. Which I completely understood, as I myself am not a huge fan of hot weather. She managed to calm enough to have a lovely cuddle with her great nanny (and even great auntie) and then we took her up the road for a little bit. And she had her first look at the beach. I mean it wasn't a full on beach experience, because she started to get a bit grumpAnd the final day of the month was a bit stressful, but I just tried to surround myself with my family and Dean to keep me sane. I'm so grateful to them.

And that's the month. Sorry it got a bit gobbledegook, but I became a mother, so my mind has just been, sleep, feed Nora, feed me, sleep. Well see you when I see you!

Superb Spring.

Hello, so once again I have failed to be consistent with the whole blogging thing. But in my defence I have been out living my life. Well I say out, most of the time I am indoors just chilling with the people I love and who make me happy. But I thought since it was now June (well it was when I began to write this post...), and I have who knows how many days until Baby Brown arrives, I should blog about what I did over the spring, as that is pretty much where my video diaries ended, and I went a bit socially silent on my blog. Again it's just because I was living it. So prepare yourself for an insanely long post that probably wont make much sense because I am sure I will have trouble remembering half of the stuff I had done.

 So the beginning of Spring wasn't very entertaining, my hours at work started to pick up, which was really good, but meant I was pretty tired a lot. And I was in a bit of a low mood following a home visit at the end of February. But here I vowed that I was going to make more of a focus on myself. Stop worrying about what other people are going to do, and just be happy in me. So I would try to get out and see people when I can. Therefore on Monday 4th I went to Frankie and Benny's with Maddy, because she had a voucher. We don't tend to go out for food together unless offers are involved. And I had some delicious pasta and a great chat with my best friend. Then at the weekend I decided to go back to the house and spend some time with my family. Which I have tried to do a lot more, because I must admit I did neglect them a little when I first moved out. So we had chips from the chip shop, watched Bohemian Rhapsody together and then the following day went to the Hungry Horse and went to visit my Granddad, which I need to try and do again before my child is born.

On Sunday 10th, once my parents dropped me back home, I just went to chill with Maddy, and then we made the decision to go bowling with Tom. It was the first time that I had played without the barriers up, and I didn't think it was possible for me to get any worse at bowling. This following week then got a bit busy, with various appointments, working, organising with my friends to go and see Captain Marvel on Tuesday 12th, which was so good. Love Goose the cat, he needed more scenes, and it was just nice to see some of my friends, as it can be hard for us all to find time together. On Thursday 14th Maddy met with me after I had work and we went to Ed's, and I then proceeded to spend more time with her at the weekend as we went shopping, swimming and then Tom joined us at Chiquitos. You'll also discover as this post goes on just how much I go out for food...


This next week I was at work all week, which was really good, as I
find that a good distraction. I still managed to find the time to hang out with my friends though. Seeing Maddy and Tom for an Ed's meal on Wednesday 20th, and then going to spoons with Amy and Paige the following day. These were good catch ups and I remember Amy and Paige discussing Baby Brown, and this is when the prediction of her being born on May 29th came about. So stick to the end of this post to find out if the prediction was correct. At the weekend I went to the house again, and the family and I watched
Guardians of the Galaxy 2, went to Sheringham, and then on the Monday we went out for lunch with my Nannie, so it was all pretty cute times. On the Tuesday I went to work and then for the first time in months actually had my haircut, it was needed. It's needed again now, that's how long it's been. Wednesday 27th was pretty busy as I had a midwife appointment, went to Fatso's with the family, and then had some chill time with my best friend, my husband, Maddy Warnes (yes just because the videos have stopped doesn't mean I will forget to refer to her like that sometimes). I saw Maddy the next few days as we went shopping and saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the cinema with Siobhan and Emma. That was a really good day, as I got all dressed up as Columbia (which is what the shopping the day before was for), and I had a great time seeing one of my favourite films.
Not much really happened to end the month, aside from Mother's day, and all my mother really wanted to do was get a McDonald's so that's what we did. Therefore we shall move on to April, which was an insanely good month. First we had another scan, because of my mental health, they just thought it's best to monitor Baby Brown's growth. I'm not complaining I get to see my baby more. Everything was healthy, she was a little on the smaller side of the range, but really that's what you want. Then I was working, so only really got to hang out with Maddy when we decided to go to Tesco together. But that became a frequent thing for us. On Friday 5th I didn't have the best day. Mainly because of the dreaded Glucose Test. If you haven't had one of these before consider yourself lucky. It's having to fast from Midnight before the appointment, so I was hungry and irritable, then have blood taken,

which I never enjoy because needles. Then I was forced to drink the worst liquid on the planet and only have water to make the taste go away. All before waiting around the hospital for 2 hours bored out of my mind, and had my blood taken again! My mum treated me to a meal at the Hungry Horse for all my pain and trauma. I had a pretty chill weekend, where the family went to Hemsby.

I describe Monday 8th as the three days in one, just because it felt pretty busy. It started with an early midwife appointment, but nothing out of the ordinary, then a pretty ordinary afternoon at work. When I finished I then got ready to go to spoons, which I was really nervous for. Basically for the previous week, I had been talking to this guy, and this was the first time we decided to meet in person. It was really nice, despite how nervous I was, because given what I have been through/am going through, I didn't have a high expectation of things going anywhere. But amazing things happen. Such as the 10th April, which was an amazing experience because I got to experience one of my favourite drag queens live, and got to meet her. Even though I met her before... It was a hilarious show, and I'm just disappointed in myself that I just went into a shy shell when meeting her. WHY CAN'T I HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE?! Anyway, it was a really nice trip to London with my sister, despite getting tired trying to navigate the tube. The next interesting thing was Friday, when after work, I went to go and see Captain Marvel again, this time with that guy I met, and it was the first time I sat in this handy link. I know exactly what you need in this post, more reading.

completely silent while a film was on. Because I didn't know what he would make of my fun comments. But I had a great time forcing him through all the credits as he didn't really understand the end credit scenes and thought I was lying to him. We then stayed up for hours just talking which was really nice. However, it made me very tired for the next day which was the beginning of the weekend
Birthday celebrations! Which you can read about

The next week was pretty much working, meeting Maddy for a milkshake, and getting to know this new person in my life. Towards the weekend was a little more exciting as I went shopping with Maddy on Friday where we decided to try out the new desert place in castle mall. Maddy always chooses such weird ice cream combinations. She was saying how she wanted to meet this new "friend" of mine so on Saturday 20th, which was an insanely hot day from what I remember. Myself, Maddy, Tom met with this new person to go Bowling. And I'm tired of finding creative ways to explain him, so I'm just going to go ahead and say his name is Dean. So we went bowling, and it was

really good. I managed to get a strike, and show off how bad I can be at bowling. Dean then showed everybody up by getting a turkey right at the end of the first game. And after we had played we decided to go on the arcades while Maddy, Tom and I waited to go to Siobhan's Birthday Meal at Pizza Hut. Which was a really lovely time as well. On Easter Sunday, I went with the family down to Hemsby where it's mainly all about playing Bingo, and my mum getting annoyed at how I win more than her. We had work the rest of that week, and a boring dentist trip, well not completely boring, I

was excited to see they had decorated the place, to the point I walked in thinking I was in the wrong building. Then there was just chilling with Maddy, and going with her on a very cheap date to pizza express and Sundaes Gelato. Man I love doughballs.

However on Wednesday 24th I had an eventful night, as I went to the hospital for a minor bleed. Normally they'd say it was fine and I shouldn't worry, but because I am Rhesus Negative, I had to have an anti-d injection. So Dean kindly took me down there, and I was hooked up to this machine that monitored Baby Brown's heart-rate, and movements, plus I was given a clicker to note when I felt her move. It was a little scary, but she seemed to do okay. They then explained how they wanted to examine me (down there) and my god that was not a pleasant experience. It did not help that the doctor who did it also reminded me of my uncle. Finally I had a blood test, and then proceeded to wait in the hospital for hours to have the anti-d injection. I think we turned up at midnight and I left at 4am. So it made me exhausted for the following days. But I couldn't be exhausted, for on April 26th Dean and I went to go see the much anticipated Avengers Endgame. I really liked the film. Loved New Asgard. Was distraught that there was no end-credit scene.

This hype lead me into a very good weekend as well. Where I had planned to meet with my sister on the Saturday, to which she decided to cancel, so Emma said about meeting up instead, and taking me to this vegetarian restaurant one of her other friends had told her about. So after a weird drive we parked at a Methodist church. And Emma proceeded to walk inside to check it was okay to park there. The main reason I followed her in was because it was pouring it down with rain. We then proceeded to have the weirdest time as she convinced me to go upstairs with her because she thought she heard someone, but then changed her mind, and then tried again. Now I know it seems suspicious but sometimes Emma does peculiar things. So finally she got me to go deep upstairs where I saw Maddy, and was filled with utter confusion. It turns out that my friends had planned me a surprise Baby Shower. I had the best time, playing bingo with Amy's fun rhyming, and then Emma had made a quiz. However, no-one seemed to remember what Ariel called a fork and it highly upset me. There was also a delicious buffet (even though I was really craving the food Emma was tempting me with) and they all got me some amazing presents. So I just want to thank them again for a great time. Sunday I then went with

friends to see Endgame again. Such a good film. The last two days of the month I had a couple of pregnancy related appointments. Decided to throw a games night with Dean, Maddy and Tom, where they were trying to teach me how to play Unstable Unicorns but none of it made sense, so we just played cards against humanity. On the final day of the month I went to Mecca Bingo with Paige, Josh, Amy, Jordan and Emma, and it was really exciting. We ate cake, played and just enjoyed each other's company. Unfortunately none of us won. But it was still a really good night, and I would like to go again if I had the chance.

Now we can finally move on to May, and my god this post is already too long. I started it off, with a midwife appointment, which went well, then I went with my parents to mothercare to finally purchase a car seat/pushchair. The woman was trying to convince me to get one in pink, and I was not having it. Then I took them to their first Chiquitos, and they rather enjoyed it. That afternoon I then attended my first antenatal class. Which was weird, because I was the only single person there, so it was a little upsetting to hear them talk about how the mum's and dad's will work together and all that. I also felt self-conscious because for being the furthest along I had the smallest bump. Aside from work not too much happened that week, until we got to Saturday where I convinced Dean to go to Hemsby. I'd like to think he had a good time. I certainly did. Apart from the fact he then kept beating me at the bingo, and with the gold card! We left with like 12 wins between the two of us, it was really good.

Monday 6th was a bank holiday, and because it was near to Paige's birthday, some of us decided to go bowling. And this was unlike any other bowling trip, because I actually did well. I got a strike on my first go, and won the game with 112 points. Which I know doesn't sound impressive, but trust that for me, it isn't going to get any better. Afterwards we then got some food at spoons, and ate some disgusting flavoured Jellybeans. The rest of the week was just working, attending more uncomfortable antenatal classes, and chilling with Maddy. On Friday Dean and I went on a date where I introduced him to Ed's Diner and Sundaes Gelato, and I think he was very happy because he wanted to go there again the following Friday, that time we went with Maddy and Tom. Well Tom met us for ice cream. However, before The four of us did that the 17th, we all went to Hemsby

together on the 11th. This was a really great day, because we all won a game of bingo, played lots on the arcades, and spent a nice chilled moment on the beach. I also got to show off my rather impressive mini gold skills, where I managed to hit the ball off course 3 times. But we remember that more than the hole's in one am I right? Stupidly after this busy day we decided to go to see Detective Pikachu at the cinema, but the only time was at 9. So first we went to Nandos to get some food, and then settled to watch the movie. And collectively we managed to watch the entire film, but pretty much all of us fell asleep at one point. I was awake enough to know the plot, which I felt was pretty predictable anyway.

That week wasn't very eventful, with work and baby related appointments/classes, so the only thing to really talk about was when my parents took me to Walcott on the 14th. It was a really nice beach, and the fact there was no-one really around made it even better. We also had a nice meal at this pub, and I just remember being intrigued by this big group of people, because some where dressed very fancy, and others were more of a smart casual, so I was trying to think of why they would all be there together. Then afterwards we went to go see my Nanny for a little bit, and I won the cutest Llama on the grabby machines in Hemsby. The following week wasn't very exciting with more baby related appointments, and working. Other than that it was just going for meals with my family, and chilling with Maddy and Dean. On the 25th
I did decide to go for a little afternoon tea with Emma, in which we tried finding somewhere we hadn't really been before. We settled on Eaton Park, which is a really nice little place to go. Only problem was had to wait half an hour for a pot of tea, which was pretty frustrating. But I loved having the catch up with Emma. Especially since she will be leaving to go to America in the Summer. (Well at the time I wrote this she's gone already :'( ) 

For the last week of the month, and the last week of spring I guess. I had ore of a chilled time. I finished working to actually relax a little before I give birth, as I'd say I spent a lot of time working, they kept asking me when I was going to finish. So my family took me to Hemsby again, which was basically arcades and bingo, this time Dean joined us, and he got to meet everyone. Which was really nice. We then had a lot of time seeing midwives, as I had my 38 week appointment, a growth scan, and another late night trip to the hospital! This time it wasn't as bad because I knew what was going to happen. Plus they said as I was going to be at the hospital the next evening for that growth Scan I could have the anti-d then instead of waiting around for it. Well I say that they made me wait around the net day, and Jesus it was too hot for my liking. But all was good with me and Baby Brown. Therefore, all that is left to say is for the final day of the month, my parents took me out for a meal at Fatso's, it was delicious, and I had a really nice dessert.

OH MY GOD, this post has taken me forever to complete. But like I said, and as you can hopefully see I have had a really good Spring, and I am hoping my summer is just as spectacular. Sorry again I am falling behind with posting, but I am extremely busy nowadays, and I hope when I finally get the next few posts up, you will see why.

See you when I see you!

Time To Move On.

Hello there friends and welcome to another blog post. Yes I have been watching a lot of Safiya Nygaard on Youtube. The point of the post today is that I have come to a big decision. One you may have picked up on a little. If you know, I used to try and film a video explaining what I had done over the last month, and I hadn't actually posted one March. Now this wasn't because of the reason I stopped last time. In fact quite the opposite. I've actually just been too busy having the best time to sit and film and edit. So now we are at the point where I also need to do one for April. And I just thought that maybe it's not really worth doing anymore. As much as I do love it. It can be a bit of a chore, and I also thought that come end of May I'll probably have even less time, due to the having a baby and all. 

So I feel this is just a good time for it to end. Which is a little sad when you think about it, because I have been making videos on and off for the past 7 years of my life. And you never know I may pick it up again, but for now I just think it's time to not worry about it. But do not fear! Not that anyone really cares. But I will be continuing with my blog. So the video diaries will probably just go back to being more catch up posts. So you have that to look forward to. I am working on the posts to recap my March and April happenings, but like I said, that may take some time so please bare with. 

Until then just feel content knowing, that I am in a good place, and a lot of good things have happened, which is why I need more time to appropriately share those memories with you all. and by you all I mean future me because I'm pretty sure that no-one else reads these. But yeah, unfortunately we are moving on from videos, but that's probably for the best. 

See you when I see you!

I Don't Know About You, But I'm Feeling 22.

And considering how freaked out I got about turning 21, we all remember the Rapunzel Hair Chop, I am actually feeling pretty good about being 22. It's like I have the lyrics to Lily Allen's song 22 where she states that the future looks bright at 22. And finally I see that mine is. Because I have a great family, great friends, a great job, and I'm going to give birth to a great little girl. Now I'm thinking I said great too many times and it doesn't sound believable. Anywho... I'm seeing this birthday as my new beginning. I know I said this to myself at the start of the year, but I was still in the bad place. I've had help since. I've just been better since. So despite that fact I really do not like the number 2, and the fact it is now displayed twice in my age, I am happy.

So let's just talk about how I celebrated shall we? I'd say it was a full weekend event. Which was nice, I was able to split the balance of friends and family quite well. On the Saturday I organised a trip with a small group of friends to go to one of my favourite places in the world. Hemsby. And yeah it was super windy, and therefore a little cold, I'd say we were quite blessed with the weather (and it was better than when we made the same trip attempt two years ago), as it rained on the way there and hailed as we were then leaving, but other than that the sun was out.

So we managed to go on the beach for a little while. This time I did not brave the sea, as much as I wanted to, the waves seemed pretty crazy, and I have a little one inside me I need to protect. But we sat on some towels and just had chats and catch ups while Jordan persisted to throw stones into a bin. After that we went to go get some chips, and finally ventured to the arcades! Where some people *cough*Scott*cough* went a little crazy on the machines. But I'd like to think everyone had a good time. I certainly did.

After this I decided to get the bus to Horsford so I could spend my Birthday with the family. My birthday was a little more chilled, than the Saturday, starting with just laying in bed, and saying happy birthday to someone other than myself, because as most of you know (because it's probably only her that reads this) I share my birthday with my best friend Maddy. Shortly after that my sister came in to share her card before she went to work. My parents then took me to see my nanny, and it was really nice to see her for a catch up. Then we went for a meal at Zaks, which was delicious as always. I got back to have cuddles with my Sebbles, which was definitely a highlight of the day. And I finished up my birthday at home, just chilling with someone pretty cool.

 This post doesn't make sense, but who cares? Things are good! See you when I see you!

My Mum.

As some of you may have been aware, last Sunday was Mother's Day, so I thought I would like to take this opportunity to talk about my own mother. Because she is just the greatest person on the planet, which I know is a rather cliche thing to say. I did make a similar Mother's day post 5 years ago. Yes 5, that's how long I've been writing this damn blog for. Will I ever get bored of it? Probably not, I like to consider it my safe space. Anywho, if you want to check out that brief mentioning about my mother you can click this handy little link.
 So really I just want to thank my mum for everything she has done for me. I can't imagine it has been particularly easy for her to look after me. When we were younger my sister and I would always fight, and didn't really contribute to housework. Then our teenage years only left more drama, with puberty emotions and exam stress. She was always a good support during these times. Not that I ever really accepted it, because I always felt unsure about talking to her about my problems. Mainly because for as long as I can remember she has struggled with anxiety and depression, so I always felt what I was going through was minor in comparison. So didn't want to either bother her, or add to her stress. But despite what she goes through she always tries to be there for others, like supporting her friends, or trying to be the strong one when our family found out bad news. Because it mustn't have been easy for her either.

Despite all this I've known her to be a positive person. She likes to tell me that she just focuses on the now, because the past and future are out of her control, so why worry about it. And I wish I can think more like that. But the fact she has gone through this is why I think she was able to support me so much over the last year. Even though at first I didn't want her to know anything, because I didn't want her opinion of me to change. I didn't want her to stop being proud of me. But I don't think she ever will be. She always says me and Hariette are the best thing to happen to her.

And I think it is because of her that I know I can be a great mother. Because I have her as my example. So my little girl is going to be incredibly lucky to have this woman as a Nanny (she doesn't want to be a grandmother as that makes her feel old). From the moment she found out, she was nothing but thrilled, and will often refer say when talking to my bump that she is her baby. And the amount of stuff my mum has already helped get for her just feels like an endless list.

So yeah I just wanted to make this post to say how incredible my mum is. Not that she would ever read this, because I don't think she even knows my blog exists. I'm not sure what she'd actually make of it, but I'd imagine if she knew how to work the software she would have a blog. Because she likes writing, not physically because she has arthritis and it hurts her wrists, but I remember reading poems and things she used to write. I think it's why I like to use this type of creative space. I get writing from her and drawing from my dad. Because he's pretty incredible too. But Father's Day isn't until June ;)

Well I guess that is all I can really say. I could go into details of hilarious stories and things about her but who has the time for that. And I'm sure there will be more opportunities for that, maybe a post dedicated to her on her birthday, or next year on Mother's day, because I'm sure I'll still be blogging around then, despite having my own baby to look after. See you when I see you!