Jesting June.

Hello everybody, so after the length of the last post, I felt it was probably safe to keep this as a monthly thing. However, if it gets to the end of July and I haven't completed this post then I probably will just turn it into what I did in the summer, or just give up with it entirely. But since I actually have a moment to myself, I feel I should at least make a start. I went into June with a weird attitude. Because ultimately I was at a high point in my life, I had great friends, I don't think I had ever been closer to my family, I had a wonderful boyfriend, and my daughter was due to be born at any point. But then again that meant I then had to let back into my life the people that hurt me the most. And then when I really thought about it, that hurt all started a year ago, in June. So I just felt like the high point would just come crashing down again. Let's find out!

I began the month doing what I do most days which is hang out with Dean, we went to Iceland, because there large bottle of Yazoo are only £1 and that makes me very happy. As he couldn't spend the whole day with me I then decided I would take the opportunity to dye my hair, because I didn't know when I would be able to have that opportunity again. That evening I met up with Paige to go to Spoons, and I had such a good time with her just chatting about this that and everything, only downside was how long we had to wait for our drinks. The following day started off pretty lazy, but then Dean and I decided that we should probably venture out into the nice weather, and I went to Whitlingham for the first time. It was a long walk but I'm proud I did it,

plus I got some good Instagram shots, and saw the cutest ducklings. June 3rd was Dean's Birthday, so after he had finished work I treated him to a Zak's Meal, because he's never been to Zak's before and that's shocking. We then came back to mine and watched How I Met Your Mother, which becomes a very common theme for us. Next day was a nice family day and we went down to Riverside. First grabbing some delicious food at Nandos, and then Hariette and I went shopping in B&m and Matalan.

However something happened that day that got me in a little bit of a low mood. But after a visit from my Perinatal Mental Health Worker, an amazing chat with Dean who took the afternoon off work, and my mum taking me to the house to have some cat cuddles, I was beginning to feel a lot better. The following day I continued to spend with the parents, watching taskmaster, and I convinced them to go to Chiquitos for food. Later that day I then met with Emma, who drove me to Eaton park, where we met with Paige, Amy and Siobhan. After general chatting, and trying to figure out why these people where having their own photo-shoot, we decided that we wanted food and went to McDonald's. Here I tested out the app payment, and it worked well, got a free hot drink. Woo! As we came in different vehicles, there was a slight race going on, which to nobody's surprise Emma and I lost. Emma drove me back to the house after that, so I spent the next day with the family, where we went out for food again (I know shocker) this time was at the Hungry Horse. After that we went to go visit my Granddad it was a bit of a tough visit as they had issues with his bed, so he went into a chair, and slipped out of it. I've never seen him so

panicked. But once he got a bit of help he did perk up and was talking like his usual self. Informing me and mum about about how he's on new medication and what our Nannie has been up to. I phoned her when I got home, having a good chat. Then Maddy came over and we had a good catch up as she has been busy with study recently. Emma joined us and we continued to natter. And then ordered from Pizza Express. I just love their dough balls. Eventually Dean turned up and we decided to treat ourselves to Sundaes Gelato. So overall a pretty good day.

June 8th was the start of a chilled weekend with Dean, where we went into the city, watched How I Met Your Mother and ordered a Dominos! My god the cookies from there are amazing. The next day we decided to go to the cinema and watch X-Men Dark Phoenix. I got a little uncomfortable in the chair, but it was a really nice night. We then begin labour week. It started late Monday night, where in the middle of watching How I Met Your Mother with Dean, I began to have some contractions. Not like really painful, or close together, just short and random. These continued into the next day, but still being to random to go into panic mode, despite the fact this was the day my daughter was due to be born. I therefore decided that it would be a good idea to ensure I definitely had all that I would need if I was to go into hospital the next few days, and my Dad thought he would come keep me company during this. The next day I had a midwife appointment, so I explained to her how I felt I was in the early stages of labour. She did the usual checks, and said that Baby Brown's head was fixed in position which was a sign. Therefore we just had to wait for contractions to become more regular, and that afternoon, with the help of Maddy and my mother, we began Labour Watch. Which basically consisted of us outside my flat, lunging and wiggling and timing. Finally we reached a very regular 5 minutes apart, so we headed to the hospital. Only to be told I was 1 cm dilated. So yay, I was actually in labour, but Jesus Christ all that for 1cm, I was so upset of how I was going to cope with the next 9. Dean Stayed with me that night to help me feel better, and I didn't get much sleep. The morning of the 13th my mum

picked me up so I could spend time at home, with people around to try and distract me from the pain of contractions. Which at this point felt a lot worse, but went back to being irregular. I had some great cuddles with my cat though. Then around 9pm they started to get really painful, and closer together, so once again I went to the hospital. This time I was told I was only 2cm. I lost my mind. But asked if I could have some other kind of pain relief, as paracetamol wasn't working, and I just wanted some sleep. So they said that I could stay overnight and have some morphine. Again I don't think that really worked for me and I didn't get much sleep due to painful contractions. It was a long night for me and my mum, but at least we had the bay of the ward to ourselves.

We get to the blessed day. Dean came to visit me in the hospital before going to work to check how I was, and after an examination I was now between 2-3cm, but the doctor said that because I was now 3 days overdue that they could try to speed things along for me, and listed a whole bunch of scenarios that I wasn't really paying attention to because I just wanted to sleep. Dean decided to take the day off, and me, him and mum began the brutal journey of my labour. But at 4.40pm my daughter was born! Nora Allyce Rose Brown. Who was 6lb13oz, and had so much hair. It was such a relief that all the pain was over. For a good minute. I then began the roller-coaster ride of additional problems, but at least she was okay. And Maddy stayed with us for the night, which helped me feel a lot more human after the week. That weekend Nora and I had a lot of visitors. Starting with her fathers family, then my good friends Emma, Amy and Jordan. It was
pretty weird watching them interact with her, because she is the first little human in our gang. It was hard enough trying to organise time to see my friends before hand, and now, well. I'm just glad I had this visit. After some rest and figuring out what life in hospital was like, it was somehow the next day. This is where I start losing track of days a little, because newborn routines just get you all kinds of confused. But it was now fathers day, which meant I did have to spend a bit of time with my daughters father...yay (please note the sarcasm). However I did get a visit from my own dad, and my sister. And wow the transformation those two have made, it's so weird to watch them interact with a baby. But I guess it's nice to have a glimpse of how my dad would have been when looking after me and my sister at this age.

Now the weekend was over I thought Nora and I would finally be able to make our way home, and start being like a proper family. I was mistaken, and ended up spending all of Monday, and basically Tuesday in the hospital. The food there was pretty good though. I finally made it home Tuesday evening, and mum treated me to a McDonald's. The first night with Nora went pretty well, and I think she enjoys her new home. That Wednesday was another jam packed visitor day, first being my Nannie, who was very excited to have a new little baby around, and constantly went on about how much hair Nora has. Then my mum arrived in the afternoon to see how we were, and to have more cuddles. I think at this point I was still waiting around for the midwife to come, as they say they'd visit the day after you leave hospital. She did finally arrive after 4, and said everything with Nora was going well. Shortly after Maddy joined, and even Dean came round, so I felt like I had a house full, but it was filled with the people I love so I didn't mind. The following day Siobhan came round and we had a good catch up about everything, before Nora got stressy so Siobhan had to go. My dad then turned up later on that day, because he believes if he visits without others being there he can get more cuddles. He is a strong believer that Nora is obsessed with his beard. Friday 21st I tried

to take Nora out for her first little outing. So after a feed I got her ready and just took her for a walk around the city. First chilling by the river, then exploring the mall. I was then thinking about taking her into my place of work, but then my mum phoned to say her and Dad had come to see us, so I felt I should get her back. Nora then had some lovely cuddles with them. Once they had gone, I fed Nora and we fell asleep. Which lead to some complicated things I don't really want to get into. But basically there is probably going to be a few gaps in what happens in my days, because it involves people I don't really want around, but have to because it's what is best for Nora. Or at least I'm told it's what's best for her.

Anyway... the parts of the weekend I enjoyed were hanging out with the wonderful Dean, who treated me to some ice cream, and gave me lots of cuddles to help me recover. That following week seemed a little busy, first I had my Perinatal Mental Health Worker come to check how I was doing. So I stated that in terms of being a new parent I was fine, which I guess is the main thing. Next day was then a visit from the Health Visitor, who seemed very impressed with how we were doing stating that Nora was very calm with me. After this visit I walked Nora down to Riverside to meet my family for food at Frankie and Benny's. Here I braved my very first public breastfeeding moment, which was an event. After this we chilled at Spoons, as it was a nice day and then I went home to nap. On Wednesday 26th I took Nora into the city, because we were offered a free photo-shoot, as part of the Window to the Womb scan gift-set. At first she was really good, but then in normal Nora fashion she quickly loses interest. Next day I had a haircut, which was like the first one in absolutely ages. But my hairdresser was very keen to meet my little baby, and hear all the recent gossip. After this I had a very long chat with my mum's good friend Jane, and she was offering advice on motherhood, and trying to take some good photos. I think then Friday was just a chilled day really with mum and Hal coming to visit. On the Saturday, I decided to take Nora out to see my Nanny in

Hemsby. She very much enjoyed the car ride up, finally falling asleep 5 minutes before we arrive. But once there, she wasn't having the best of times. I think the weather was a bit too hot for her. Which I completely understood, as I myself am not a huge fan of hot weather. She managed to calm enough to have a lovely cuddle with her great nanny (and even great auntie) and then we took her up the road for a little bit. And she had her first look at the beach. I mean it wasn't a full on beach experience, because she started to get a bit grumpAnd the final day of the month was a bit stressful, but I just tried to surround myself with my family and Dean to keep me sane. I'm so grateful to them.

And that's the month. Sorry it got a bit gobbledegook, but I became a mother, so my mind has just been, sleep, feed Nora, feed me, sleep. Well see you when I see you!