Awesome August.

Hello, we are back once again to talk about what I have done over the last month because I like to look back on these to help me remember the good things, especially when things don't look so good. Plus I like having something to create to occupy my mind when my daughter is having a nap, so here goes!

On the first of the month, Nora was starting to be a lot more alert and active, so we tested out her bouncer, and she was looking at the sensory book. Then we had some tummy time, and I got the cutest pictures of her being super clever lifting herself momentarily. We then took a little walk down the road to the Charing Cross Centre to have a meeting about mediation. After this meeting I did feel a lot better about my circumstances, as it was yet another person telling me that I was making reasonable choices for my daughter. So yay. The woman also suggested I got official legal advice to help empower myself so I went a booked in for a free phone call. I then spent the rest of the day interacting with Nora, who was being very good, and calling my mum. And as per usual every evening Dean comes to hang out. So just assume as you read along that always happens, because I cannot be bothered to type it out every time. The following day was another lovely visit from my parents in the afternoon and then about 6ish I got Nora and I ready to go and meet Amy,

Siobhan and Maddy at Pizza Hut. Nora fell asleep on the walk down there, after showing Maddy how she likes to stare at the safety label of her car seat more than anything else going on around her, and was asleep the whole time. It was a blessing. This gave me the opportunity to have a much needed catch up with everybody. And it was nice to do something that I used to do, like meet with a group of friends. We even planned a holiday I'm sure none of us will commit to. Classic. We stayed out until 10pm, when Nora would have needed another feed, so Dean very kindly met us at Riverside to drive us back and I tried to settle her for the night. Saturday was then a pretty good day as Dean and I went for a meal with his mum at spoons, then managed to get a couple of productive things done, before Nora came back to me.


Sunday was another attempt at a lazy day with Dean before Maddy came to join us in the afternoon. She had another good cuddle with Nora to bounce her off to sleep. And Nora was smiling at everyone which is really good to see. The next two days was spent with my Nannie (the one who isn't in Hemsby), so on the Monday I took the bus down to the Bob Carter Sports Centre where my Nannie and her friends have been playing Badminton since I was Nora's age, because they all wanted to meet her as well. So she got lots of attention while she had a very good sleep. I also had a nice chat with them, and it was nice being back there, as it was a place I used to go all the time growing up. After this, we went shopping with my Nannie in Sainsbury's then headed to hers for some lunch and cuddles and catch up. The following day Nannie collected us to drive us down to Lowestoft. Nora rather enjoyed the drive having yet another good sleep, and on this drive I had my legal advice phone call which made me feel so much better. I then went inside to see my great-aunt? I think that's how I'm related to her. Either way we were there to visit extended family. It was again really good to have a catch up, and show off how adorable Nora can be. On the

7th my mum came to visit, and took us out to lunch at the Golden Star and we had a good chat, then later in the afternoon Dad came to see us as well, because this was his last proper opportunity before he starts his new job, so he was wanting all the Nora cuddles he could get. Thursday was mainly a day at home, trying to be productive when Nora had naps, and having naps myself as well. As well as just interacting with her. I did get out of the flat for an hour to take Nora around my old workplace, to have a catch up and see how much stuff had changed. That evening Dean didn't come round and instead we traded him out for Paige, as Nora hadn't met her yet. We managed to have a happy cuddle where Nora would not let go of Paige's finger, before she had a good sleep so Paige and I could just chat the night away.

Friday 9th was just a day at the flat being ultra productive, like I really felt like I had the whole parenting thing down, until that night where Nora hardly slept making Dean and I very tired. But I couldn't let that get to me as I was meeting Hariette in the city for a little bit, to do some shopping. So first Dean and I tried to wake ourselves up by going out to McDonald's for breakfast, Nora quite enjoyed staring at the wooden circles on the wall while we ate. Then I parted with Dean to meet Hariette outside Primark where I treated myself to a new checked shirt, and Nora to this adorable jumper dress. Nora had also developed a dislike for her pushchair and insisted either Hariette or myself carried her around the shops. But we got back to the flat and had a feed before she ventured out with her dad. So Dean and I had lunch and went to do a food shop and had some time to ourselves before Nora came back and demanded all the attention. The following day Dean drove us up to Hemsby where she was a little happier to be there, Nanny finally got a smile out of her when they were having a cuddle, and Hariette got a lovely video of her smiling away. We also played some bingo, but there wasn't as much luck as there usually is, I only managed to get half a win. But it was still better than Dean, Bahahaha. We then got some ice cream, and there

was this flavour called "Black Panther" turns out it was just a dyed vanilla, but I had to get it for the pure fact it was pitch black in colour. I tried to also go on the beach but it was too full of people and not worth the effort. Dean was very tired from the weekend, so left us to have an early night. Which helped me catch up on sleep for another productive day Monday. It started with Nora and I basically doing every activity a baby of her age could do, before her Nanny and Auntie came for a visit. They had some cuddles before she had to go spend time with her dad. So I continued my getting housework done streak, to the point I'm basically caught up on the clothes washes. WOO! Then I spent most of the afternoon chatting with Hariette, trying on her wig. When Nora got back she became a little stressful as she was very tired but refused to have a nap. But once the dream team of Elli and Dean finally got her off to sleep, we decided to book ourselves a little Holiday. It's nothing extravagant because we have restrictions, but we came to the conclusion we needed some time away. Me especially.

The Tuesday was a pretty good day, as I managed to have a refreshing sleep, so Nora and I had a fun morning singing songs. After lunch we then had bath time, and for once Nora was actually smiley and happy, well until I washed her hair. Then I thought to go into the city to get a teether to help soothe Nora, on our travels we went to have a little catch up with Siobhan. On the Wednesday I decided to travel to my parents house with Nora, because I missed my little bundle of fluff. Nora again was very good on the journey down, and managed to have a good cuddle with my mum before she got a bit stressed from teething pain. She explored her new play mat and I managed to get a few adorable photos, and Nora then fell asleep on her auntie in an attempt to stop her going to work. Nora managed to do okay when my dad got home from work, and at the same time Sebbles ventured in, I think he's started working with my father. Seb was very curious again about Nora, but this time I don't think she was as keen. As it was getting late, Dean then came to take us home, and we had a pretty good evening. Thursday morning I had a visit from my perinatal mental health nurse, which was needed as I've had moments the last couple of weeks. Hence why I just want to remind myself of the good times in posts like this. But she helped me feel a bit more reassured, and then when Nora would smile, and I saw Dean in the evening, I just felt better. So moving on to the Friday, where mum came to visit, we had a good chat whilst outside and she treated me to lunch at The Golden Star. Saturday was a pretty good day, as we got up early for Dean had to take his car to be serviced, but this lead to a fun shop around B&M where I was trying to get Dean

excited about everything, I also got some things I needed. Then a nice walk down to the Whiffler where we enjoyed a nice cooked breakfast. Then Nora insisted on being carried as we walked back to the car place, but it was really nice. I then sorted some of Nora's clothes as she's growing too fast, then headed into the city to shop whilst Dean went to watch the footyball. Sunday was a productive start, as I gave some clothes to charity and then did a little food shop. Then it was a pretty chilled day hanging out with Dean and Nora.

On the 19th, I met up with my sister in the city as she got a train back from London, and we decided to do what we always do on a Hari/Elli shoppy day, which is to go and get a Nandos. It was a delicious meal, and once again Nora insisted that she was held and carried around everywhere. After this we then went to the doctors for our first proper check up, and everything is going well with Nora. I on the other hand

have been put on iron tablets and instructed to take vitamin D. So there's that to remember on a daily basis. The next eventful thing to happen was the following day, when mum came round to visit me and Nora, and she was able to get a lot of smiley cuddles. Nora was also properly sticking her tongue out in response to mum which was just adorable. In the afternoon I took Nora for a walk in the sling, where Maddy came to join us. We just walked aimlessly while we had a catch up. On our travels we had found a balloon that said Birthday Boy, which we thought was pretty cool as that day was Scott's Birthday. We then ended up back at mine and ordered a Domino's as it was 2 for Tuesdays. Like you cannot resit the Domino's offers. For the Wednesday Hariette had the day off, so I decided to travel on the bus back to Horsford. I got some adorable photos of Sebbles in the garden, which made me feel like a professional photographer, and Nora got some good family cuddles in. I also managed to get a Zak's meal out of the trip which is always good. Thursday was pretty uneventful as I was mainly trying to complete housework jobs and look after my daughter. Friday was more of a busy day as I got up early with Nora to go to a blood test to check just how anaemic I am. Then we got the bus to my Nannie's house, because I had arranged to meet my

cousins and her children there. The girls were obsessed with Nora, and were constantly trying to give her some of there toys, and wanted to feed her cake and meringues. It was really good to sit outside and just chat to everyone. On the 24th my Dad came round for lunch, as Dean went to go and watch the football. We mainly chatted about Nora, trying to calm her down, as I think the weather that weekend was getting a bit much for her. It wasn't as bad as the heatwave though, and I managed to take her on a little walk with Dean as we went to Iceland for a quick food shop, before having a lazy evening where we may or may not have ordered yet another Domino's... It's a weakness okay.

Sunday was a really nice day, as we made a spontaneous trip to Chapelfield Gardens in the morning, as we thought it would be nice to get Nora outside before it got way too hot. I think she had a really good time, as it was mainly when we were walking home I think the heat then bothered her. The rest of the day was just spent inside hating the heat. On the bank holiday Monday it was pretty much a lazy day to avoid the heat, however in the afternoon I had this urge to be more productive, so Dean helped me to rearrange my flat again to try and make room for Nora's cot, as she is getting too big for her basket (she's growing so fast). After realising that no matter what we did to the bedroom, we don't think that it is going to work in there, so in the end we had to put her in the living room where my bookcases were, and the bookcases moved to the bedroom. Which was a task to achieve. Next day was again dying in the heat. Around lunchtime my

mum came to visit, and I spent most of the time sat outside in the shade with her failing to complete a Killer Sudoku puzzle. Then in the afternoon I met with Maddy for a picnic in the park. Which was a challenge considering I said we should go to the park outside the playhouse and forgot so walked all the way to Chapelfield Gardens, luckily Maddy met me there, because she is the greatest, and we had a really good catch up, Nora also enjoyed being out in the shade. We then decided to bring back a tradition of last year to watch Bake Off together, even though Nora was wanting all our attention. Wednesday was a little sad for me as Nora was having immunisations, and considering I hate needles myself, watching her scream out was not a pleasant experience. Luckily she did not have as bad a reaction as I thought and I was able to do a little shopping in the city. The following day was a little stressful, due to certain circumstances. But luckily for me I have some amazing people in my life, so my mum came to sit with me outside my flat, and we just chatted about this that and everything, then more into the evening Dean and Maddy came to see Nora and I and we again just talked and laughed and it helped distract me. Friday was pretty similar in terms of my mum coming to visit, and then in the evening I saw Maddy and Dean, but this time had the added bonus of ice cream. WOO. So we went to Sundaes Gelato to celebrate Maddy passing her exams. The final day of the month was spent just chilling in the morning with Dean, and then Nora and I headed into the city to see my dad and sister. We walked around in search of food, and finally ended up at Lucy's Chips on the Market. I was amazed as I was able to have a battered Quorn sausage! It was really good. Then we just sat near to city hall enjoying the nice weather. There was also a little protest outside city hall which was somewhat amusing. In the evening I just finished watching 13 reasons why, and Jesus that show feels like it goes on for a century, and had a mini shopping trip to Aldi. It was pretty relaxed.

So that was my month! Who is actually impressed that I have managed to write and post this on the 1st of September? I certainly am. I wouldn't expect it from future posts however. Well I shall see you when I see you!

My Labour Experience.

Now I'm about to enter into a topic that for some may be intriguing and you'll be desperate to read on to find out exactly how labour impacted me, and for others you'll probably be like "Ew gross, why'd you go into such gruesome detail?" and the answer to that is simply to inform. Because as someone who had no idea about how labour would go about, despite watching tv shows and attending the antenatal classes, I was not prepared for that, so if I had something like this it might have been better? Worse? Who knows, either way I just want to share my experience. Now if you are familiar to this blog then you would realise that I actually went into labour 2 months ago, so honestly my memory of it will probably be a bit hazy. But it's what they say isn't it, you tend to forget the trauma of labour to then go on to have another child.

So anyway, we begin our 90 hour journey (yes you read that right, but don't worry I am not going to detail every single hour, mainly because like I said my memory of events does get a bit hazy) on Monday 10th, it was late evening and I was doing what I always do, hanging out with Dean. When I started to get this cramping pain. I remember from the antenatal class they described this as being similar to a period pain, which I guess it kind of was, but I don't really remember what they felt like at this point. So I didn't really make a big deal out of it, I would just count how long they would last for and how far apart they were. The conclusion being they were too short and random to be significant labour, but were the early signs it was on the way, and considering Nora was due to be born the following day I was a little hopeful. That night I did manage to sleep, but it was very broken as I would wake to small pains. On the Tuesday my contractions were still all over the place, so I decided to use this time to just ensure I had everything ready, even though I already had my hospital bag packed I felt it was safe to just go through it all again. So I needed to make sure I had my pregnancy notes, a change of clothes for both myself and Nora, a blanket for Nora, nappies, cotton wool balls, travel toiletries, maternity pads, and breast pads. It was also suggested to me to bring in something to keep me entertained like a book, but I never read it. I was also recommended to take formula milk as a back up to breastfeeding, but in all honesty the hospital are so helpful in trying to get you to feed, and they have a back up supply. I found as well that you could just get someone to get you more of anything when you are in hospital so try to pack a little light. Especially as there isn't excess amounts of space on the ward. Anyway, another thing I wished I had packed was a portable charger, luckily I had Maddy to the rescue for that, but you aren't able to plug in a charger.

Anywho back to the labour. So Tuesday 11th, I waited around for a sign something would happen, nothing did. So in the end I just had a nice chat to my dad who came to keep me company in this time. He was trying to place bets on when he thought she would arrive, he said Friday, so congratulations Dad you were correct. We then went through predictions that were made at my baby shower, and wow some people were way off. Again that night not a lot of sleep happened as I would keep being disturbed by the irregular contractions. On Wednesday my mum decided to keep me company, and was suggesting things for me to do to help speed the process along. So I was doing squats and lunging and trying to remain on my feet. Which really hurts your back. This time I had a timer to check how long contractions were and how much time were between them. Just be better at using it than I was because I'd always forget to press the button when the contraction had finished. Once Maddy had finished work she came to join what I refer to as Labour Watch, and she would motivate me to squat and lunge and all that. We even got my bean bags to act somewhat like a yoga ball. Here we managed to get my contractions to be more regular. So they were lasting more than a minute every 5 minutes. And in my antenatal class they said this was a good time to contact the hospital. Which by the way is difficult to do. I felt like I would ring them for ages and nobody answered. They then want to talk to you long enough for you to have a contraction, as they can tell how intense it is, by how well you can talk and judge how long it is. They also ask you if you've had a show, which at the time I wasn't too sure that I had. It's described as a discharge from you know down there, which can be pink in colour and quite gloopy. I remember having a small amount of this in the morning, but I later realised there was more to come.

So the hospital said I could go to delivery suite to be checked over. And after a long wait in the waiting room, which was boiling. However there was a cute girl in there to keep Maddy and I entertained, she liked trying to race me to the wall as I paced around. I finally got checked over, which was an uncomfortable experience. You have to get half undressed lay on a bed with your legs apart and a midwife sticks a finger up there, only to be told that you're 1cm dilated. So I was sent home disheartened and paracetamol-ed up. Because at this point, I was just too tired, and I felt like I would have to keep reliving the last couple of days again. Another sleepless night went by and my contractions went back to being irregular, yet way more painful. So I tried to comfort myself with some cat cuddles and this time spent most of the day in bed trying to rest. Around 9pm they began to become more regular and I though this is it, so I contacted my birth partners and the hospital so we can get the baby out of me. Even though I didn't know if I would have the energy for it. Despite all that, I was diagnosed as 2cm. So that day of more intense pain was for 1 cm. I just cried from exhaustion and wanting to see my child and wanting the pains to just go away. The midwives said that I could stay on the ward for the night, as I wanted some better pain relief to help me sleep. And even though I was given morphine I still didn't have the greatest sleep. It's almost like every time I had drifted off BAM, and I had to start all over again. I had my mum to hold my hand and keep me company, well when she wasn't outside for a cigarette.

In the morning Dean came to check I was okay as the doctor came to talk to me. They discussed how as I was now 3 days late there was some ways they could try and help speed the process along. I don't remember the methods, but I remember they kept asking what I wanted. And all I wanted was to sleep. Because I felt so exhausted I didn't think I could push out a baby, so I wanted whichever method was safest. But the decision had to be mine, and I honestly didn't know what to think. So I was given more pain relief and told they were going to try to move me to the midwifery led unit as that is where I wanted to be on my birth plan. While we waited for more conclusive answers on what would happen I went to have a bath, which was really nice, and did ease the pain of contractions a bit. I was in there for a couple of hours and then returned to my bed. The contractions would continue being painful, and I was trying to get more rest. I then just remember sitting up and telling my mum I felt sick, so she found a bedpan, and literally the moment it was handed to me I was sick into it. Like a lot. But the sickness went after that. It was pretty bizarre.

This is where it got even more crazy as I honestly can't recall most events. But all of a sudden I was in high intense pain, like I screamed the ward down kind of pain. I had this weird sensation like water was just pushing out of me and it really fucking hurt, and I was trying to tell the midwife and I felt a little like I was being ignored. So I cried and screamed and would just not move my head away from the side of the bed. I thought if I just hid the pain would go away. I honestly do not know how everyone coped with me. Again I was being asked what I wanted, and I just had no answers. Because I just wanted everything to stop. The next thing I knew I was being given gas and air and told I'd be taken to delivery suite. I literally took in a breath and threw it crying about how I didn't like it as it made me feel like I was falling. However that didn't stop me wanting it back when the next contraction came. Honestly do not take in lots of short breaths like I did because that's not how you use the stuff. Like I had enough to feel really weird while I was being wheeled across the hospital, like I was flying around. Next thing I remember was that every time I took in the gas and air for a contraction, it was like I lost control of my body, and this shiver almost would run through my body and I would push. Now was not the right time to push, and I knew this. I kept saying that I didn't want to take in any more of the pain relief because it meant I was pushing when I wasn't meant to, but I still took in the breaths. I still pushed. I still was in pain.

Next thing I knew I was pushing for real. And it was a combination of being told to breathe, and Dean providing me with water through a straw, then taking in the gas and air.  I had people telling me I was doing really well and I didn't believe it. When I had a contraction I had to push to get the head out, however if you didn't get to a certain point it would go back in and there was something about my contractions that just weren't long enough. I can't recall just how many times I pushed and was told if I just did one more the head would be out, but I didn't have it in me. I was in so much pain, and I said the cliche "I can't do it" like I could just go back and it won't be happening anymore. But I had to keep going and at 16.38 I finally pushed out her head, and I could hear my mum talk about how much hair she had. The pushes after that were easy, and it felt almost like she fell out of me. They then laid her on my stomach and I was just staring at this dark head of hair while midwives were cleaning her a little. I was informed that she had pooed on me. So that was lovely. But I didn't really care. I was overwhelmed with the idea that I could finally see my daughter after 9 months. She was a reality now, and everything was different. I just wanted to cuddle her and never let go, I believe I even kissed her gross head. I didn't even realised that they had injected me to get the placenta out. I was like oh that happened. And I hate needles/injections. The placenta came out super easily, and there was the disturbing conversation about what to do with it.  I decided I wanted nothing to do with it.

And thank god now all the pain was over.

At least so I thought. Turns out all that pushing I did at the wrong time had resulted in a tear. And even though the tear itself was not that deep, I was losing a lot of blood. So I was given an anaesthetic and they stitched me together, then they noticed a graze right by my clitoris, and debated whether or not to stitch that up as well. After what felt like all the midwives taking a look up there, they decided that I would not need stitches. At this point I had inhaled a lot of entonox (the gas and air) so was feeling very floaty and they wanted me to go and sit on the chair so they can change my bedding. All I remember from this was the feeling like I was falling, my mum said that I had fainted, and when I was back on the bed they noticed that my pulse was really fast, and therefore wanted to insert a canular to give me some fluids. But they inserted it into my left arm wrong, so that got very sore and bruisey, then my right arm got sore from the actual canular. Which made it difficult when I was trying to breastfeed Nora, as I felt that I couldn't really hold her properly. Because do you know how hard it is to hold a wriggly newborn when both your wrists are in pain.

It wasn't over. While Nora was being checked over the midwife when the last time I had gone for a wee was. And my answer was before everything went down. So I was then propped weirdly on the bed (as they didn't want to risk me getting up again) with a bedpan underneath me and it was the weirdest thing as I felt the sensation of wanting to go for a wee but nothing happened.Therefore it was decided that I needed a catheter put in. WOO more procedures. After the pain of that being inserted there was a new debate about the graze being stitched. So the shift change of midwives all had a good look down there as well. This time they felt it should be stitched, but wee unsure what to do because I didn't really take well to the anaesthetic last time, and they didn't know how much I could have so close together, meaning there was talk of taking me into surgery which was terrifying. But I braved it with the numbing injection and entonox and Dean holding my hand and telling me it will be okay and I was doing really well. During this I breathed in the entonox like you're meant to, and it felt almost like everything had hit a delay. Like I would hear words echo then all of a sudden this pain would shoot through me and this pulsing as I tried to move my body away. The weirdest part was how I would cry, like I cried 5 seconds before I could then hear it. It felt broken. And I couldn't open my eyes even if I tried. So it was just darkness. After the intense pain I began to breathe in the entonox a lot, so it all of a sudden got really bright, and then there was a red light, then amber then green passing me. It was very bizarre and I would love to see what I looked like when I was on the stuff, because like I said I felt like everything i did was on a delay, so what did it look like in real time.

At least after that my problems were starting to get better, and I was able to actually eat something, and have a good cup of tea. As the only thing that I had managed to eat that day was a digestive biscuit and that took me an hour to consume. But now I could finally rest, and cuddle my daughter. Which is where I will leave this post considering it is just about my labour. There are more things I could discuss about my time in hospital and looking after my daughter, but that will depend on the time and effort I have in me to complete it. We shall see. Until then enjoy this photo of Nora, and I shall see you when I see you!

Jubilant July.

So it is August now, and boy does time fly by, therefore the only natural thing to do is talk about how I spent my July. Which was primarily with a baby, but there's a few other fun things around that.

To start the month I was waiting around the flat for the midwife to come check Nora over, they were very happy, and discharged us. Which was a relief to know I was doing something right. In the afternoon we ventured out to a place in the city called Revolution Portraits to see which picture of Nora from her photo-shoot I wanted to keep. I was very worried entering the building that I would be very tempted to get all of them, but I could not justify that £200 purchase. Luckily for me there was one stand out adorable photo, so I chose that one and then returned home to spend my evening in the usual way. Caring for Nora, and hanging out with Dean. On the 2nd it was finally time to register Nora's birth, where mum and dad took us out to

Earlham Library which was a pretty cute little library, and we met a very nice lady who made the birth certificate. It makes everything that little more real to see my name under the mother section of a birth certificate. And to see a name I have chosen as her official name. Nora Allyce Rose looks very pretty on a birth certificate. After this I was then treated to a meal at the pub across the road, and Nora had a nice time interacting with her Nanny and this little elephant toy she has. The next day was pretty chilled, before meeting Hariette in the afternoon for some food at Ed's diner, which was upsetting because they have changed their menu to remove the only Veggie Burger I would eat :'( and  then we did some shopping.

The Thursday was a pretty chilled day, and then in the evening  I went to go see Maddy at the Cathedral Gardens, as it had been forever since I saw her. We had a bit of a rough patch after Nora was born, but do not fear as we are good now! Nothing can break up the dynamic duo of Maddy and Elli. So it was lovely seeing her, and she had her first proper hold of Nora which she really liked. The next day my Nannie came to visit, dropping of the baby sling she got for me, it took a while for us to figure out how to use it. And then we drove out to introduce Nora to my Granddad. He was very pleased to see her, even though for some reason he kept

thinking her name was Arina. But when one of his workers came in he was very proudly showing off his Great-Granddaughter, saying her name correctly this time. And when we got back to the flat the rest of the family were waiting for us, Nora had some lovely sleepy cuddles with her auntie, and I had a good catch up with mum. The only thing is I do have to watch them all argue about who gets to have the first cuddle with Nora. Then that weekend was pretty chilled hanging out with Dean, I think we ventured into the city with the intention of shopping, but only really achieved a food shop. But food is very important. Then on Sunday evening Maddy came to see us, and was very happy she managed to very briefly get Nora off to sleep. When Nora was more awake later we then began singing ABBA, to which Nora definitely moved her hand to Dancing Queen, and it was in no way a coincidence.

The next couple of days were a little stressful as Nora had colic which meant she both wanted to feed but didn't want to feed, and this confusion made it so she didn't sleep either. Tuesday morning I took her to the walk in centre as she wasn't quite registered with her doctor yet, and they checked her over, because I felt she was getting worse despite me using infacol, luckily they said she was fine other than the colic, so I should just wind her for longer to ensure the gases aren't as trapped. That afternoon of the 9th Hariette came for a sleepover! Bringing a delightful Nandos with her. I say delightful I was disappointed that my chips were cold, but I guess with takeaway food there is always that risk. She claimed she came over to help with Nora, which in some way she did as she would help cuddle her to sleep. But when it came to Nora waking in the middle of the night Hariette just slept through it, until right near the end where she held Nora's hand and then proceeded to fall back asleep. In the morning my dad came to see us all and managed to get Nora to suck just her thumb for the first time, which was adorable. They both decided to the head into the city, and I had a relatively good afternoon. Dad returned the next day with mum for yet more cuddles and chatter. It's nice to have them help because I try and get some more sleep, and know that if she

gets upset they can comfort her a little. However, when I can hear her cry I wake up, so it's not the most solid plan. Friday 12th Dean took a day off work to see me, and we decided to try and venture into the city again, again not much really got done, but it's a nice walk around for Nora, and me and Dean get to spend time together. On our travels we ran into Amy on her lunch break, which was really nice as I hadn't seen her since the day after Nora was born. It was a good little catch up and we made plans to try and get the group together. After that we headed over to Revolution portraits to collect my mini canvas! And oh my good she's just so precious.

The next day Dean and I went to go and sort me having an implant put in, because you know I'm not looking for another Nora anytime soon. It was a little scary to be there, but the woman we spoke to was super nice, and made me feel better about it. After we tackled that Dean decided to drive us out to Hemsby, because I honestly think he is addicted to Bingo. To be fair we have collected a decent amount of wins between the two of us since we started coming. And Nora had a slightly better time, she's still not loving the beach scene, but I think with more exposure she'll get there. When we got home, Emily came to visit us, which was a really weird catch up as I haven't really properly spoken to Emily since fireworks night. Yeah that's right. And back then most of the group didn't even know I was pregnant, so here she was meeting my baby. She very kindly got Nora a £20 Disney gift card, and we all know how cute baby Disney stuff is. WOO. Sunday was what I liked to call a lazy day, and then again in the evening Maddy came to visit, and we all had a good chat, and reminisced about nostalgic songs. This was mainly because Nora likes it when Maddy bounces her around, so I was encouraging the music by playing top tunes such as Vengaboys. Some

of those music videos though were pretty disturbing. On Monday I went to go and have the implant put in, so I made the plan of Mum will come and hold my hand, because needles and me are still not friends, despite how many times we came into contact during my pregnancy, and my dad was left at the flat with Nora (for context I literally live on the road where the clinic is, you step out my front door and you can see it). The procedure itself was nothing like I thought, and was over so quickly so I'm glad I braved it. Plus it means that I don't have to worry about remembering to take the pill everyday whilst caring for an infant. After this bravery of mine, mum treated us to a Zak's meal. It was a nice meal as they've introduced Potato Tots!!! I also got some nice photos of Nora in the outside bit with my dad.

On the Tuesday it was a pretty chilled day, I had Maddy come see us on her lunch break for a good chat, and then the afternoon Hariette came round to visit and we tried out Nora's play mat for the first time. She wasn't overly impressed. I made a second attempt the next morning and she seemed to enjoy it a lot more. Then Mum said about us going out for a meal, so I walked Nora down to Riverside and I got to have a lovely Chiquitos. We sat by the window so we could see the river and there was this guy painting, which made me kind of want to paint again. Then we did what we usually do and head over to spoons to enjoy the weather and chat.Following day was a little stressful as I did not feel well, and Nora was refusing to sleep and was very distressed. Luckily I had the support of my parents who came round to help. It was a very long day for me though. I was able to vent my feelings a little the next day as I had my perinatal mental health nurse come to visit, and she was talking about how I've made good improvements so if I was happy they would discharge me in September. Which helped make me feel like I was doing something right. And in the afternoon I met with Hariette in the city after work, going for some food and printing off some pictures of Nora for a scrapbook I was making as a gift for my mum. Saturday was just usual weekend with Dean, and then on Sunday he took us to Hemsby again, and this time my family met us there as well for yet more arcade bingo fun. I used the 22nd as a chilled day in with Nora, as we don't tend to have many of those, and it was a good thing I did because the next day was bizzay. And yes I wrote it like that so you can read it like that for emphasis. It was my mum's birthday so I got Nora ready and we walked down to Riverside to meet the parents at Frankie and Benny's, here we had an amazing deal of 3 pasta meals, and a pizza for £25!!! It was delicious, and Nora was pretty well behaved. My mum really liked the scrapbook I made. It wasn't completely finished, because I have more plans for it, so it will be a work in progress. But it was a nice start. After this we again went for a drink outside spoons, when Maddy messaged  about the exam she had that day so I thought I should go and see her for a bit. I met her at the other local spoons to me.
And funny story when I was with my parents there was this loud obnoxious group of people who eventually left, but turns out they just went to the spoons Maddy was at. So I ran into them twice. More than I ever wanted to run into them. Maddy and I then walked around, going to the food court to chat, and buying stuff in new look. We then decided that we wanted to go bowling, and invited Tom and Dean, but Tom didn't want to, or was busy, or something. But Dean Maddy and I had a pretty good time, even though Nora was starting to get a bit grumpy. We then went to Pizza Hut for some food!

This week continued to be super hot, which Nora was not a fan of, but I think as the days went on I almost mastered how to cheer her up, well keep content. And luckily she was content as I took her to MAP on the Wednesday so I could talk to the young parent support team. It was a really nice chat that made me feel a little more reassured, and I got to experience what their baby group was like. I think I would take Nora, but she needs to be a little older to fully appreciate it. On Thursday mum and dad came round yet again for a visit, trying to get Nora outside in the shade. I then thought to take her on a walk in the city that afternoon because some places are nice and cool, and I thought that might help her sleep a little better. On Friday I met Hariette up the city for some ice cream, which was very nice considering the weather, we then had a little shop around the city. Saturday Nora spent some time with her dad, so I was able to go and experience Pride. I decided to put on my wig and gold top hat, because when else am I really going to wear those objects, and headed out to the city with Dean. We stopped by the Number 33 cafe to stalk Tom and

Maddy, before going to see what was happening at the Forum and Chapelfield Gardens. I think more of the interesting stuff was meant to happen later in the day to be fair, but it was still nice. We had a better time when Maddy and Tom finally joined us. However they struggled to locate us. We saw some amazing things whilst out, like flamboyant Deadpool, and the last gay Dinosaur. I then had to be back for Nora's feed, and once back I just didn't want to go out again, so Dean and I stayed in and ordered Dominos!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday 28th was most definitely a lazy day, and we practically stayed in bed the whole time. But I got to experience Nora's first proper smile. It was so cute! And it made me feel more like a mother to her, than just some kind of food and rocking machine. She has been smiling and making happy responsive noises a lot more since then, which helps make those days where it's just me and her that little more interesting. Mum and Hariette came for a quick visit on Monday, as I was having a little stressful day, so it was nice to be able to chat to them about it all. Tuesday was a much better day as I had my first flat viewing for a potential home for Nora and myself. She stayed in the car with mum, whilst Dad and I nosed around the flat. Which was huge! There was so much storage space, and the kitchen was a decent size. Only issues was that the parking situation was not great, and there was no bath or much of a garden. Which when a small child is involved, but it was a good experience at least. After this I also had a visit from the health visitor who said that Nora was doing well, and she was also able to give me some good advice on how to deal with certain difficulties I'm having, then the rest of the day was pretty chilled out. On the 31st

the final day of the month, I decided it was time Nora met my other baby, Sebbles. So we also braved our first bus trip to Horsford, where she fell asleep. Seb was very interested in seeing Nora and was trying to climb on her to sit, which she strangely didn't mind, when he settled next to her, she was busy exploring his fur, she then had a sleep on her Auntie. That evening once back at the flat, Nora and I had a visit from Scott, which was a really good catch up as I don't think I've really seen him since my Birthday.

So it was a pretty good month when I try to erase the shit parts from my mind. But I guess it can't all be sunshine and roses. It just makes me more determined in a way to make good memories with those I care about. Sorry if this post doesn't make any sense at points, but I'm a lot more distracted nowadays so I just do bits here and there so kind of lose the flow. Anyway, see you when I see you!

Jesting June.

Hello everybody, so after the length of the last post, I felt it was probably safe to keep this as a monthly thing. However, if it gets to the end of July and I haven't completed this post then I probably will just turn it into what I did in the summer, or just give up with it entirely. But since I actually have a moment to myself, I feel I should at least make a start. I went into June with a weird attitude. Because ultimately I was at a high point in my life, I had great friends, I don't think I had ever been closer to my family, I had a wonderful boyfriend, and my daughter was due to be born at any point. But then again that meant I then had to let back into my life the people that hurt me the most. And then when I really thought about it, that hurt all started a year ago, in June. So I just felt like the high point would just come crashing down again. Let's find out!

I began the month doing what I do most days which is hang out with Dean, we went to Iceland, because there large bottle of Yazoo are only £1 and that makes me very happy. As he couldn't spend the whole day with me I then decided I would take the opportunity to dye my hair, because I didn't know when I would be able to have that opportunity again. That evening I met up with Paige to go to Spoons, and I had such a good time with her just chatting about this that and everything, only downside was how long we had to wait for our drinks. The following day started off pretty lazy, but then Dean and I decided that we should probably venture out into the nice weather, and I went to Whitlingham for the first time. It was a long walk but I'm proud I did it,

plus I got some good Instagram shots, and saw the cutest ducklings. June 3rd was Dean's Birthday, so after he had finished work I treated him to a Zak's Meal, because he's never been to Zak's before and that's shocking. We then came back to mine and watched How I Met Your Mother, which becomes a very common theme for us. Next day was a nice family day and we went down to Riverside. First grabbing some delicious food at Nandos, and then Hariette and I went shopping in B&m and Matalan.

However something happened that day that got me in a little bit of a low mood. But after a visit from my Perinatal Mental Health Worker, an amazing chat with Dean who took the afternoon off work, and my mum taking me to the house to have some cat cuddles, I was beginning to feel a lot better. The following day I continued to spend with the parents, watching taskmaster, and I convinced them to go to Chiquitos for food. Later that day I then met with Emma, who drove me to Eaton park, where we met with Paige, Amy and Siobhan. After general chatting, and trying to figure out why these people where having their own photo-shoot, we decided that we wanted food and went to McDonald's. Here I tested out the app payment, and it worked well, got a free hot drink. Woo! As we came in different vehicles, there was a slight race going on, which to nobody's surprise Emma and I lost. Emma drove me back to the house after that, so I spent the next day with the family, where we went out for food again (I know shocker) this time was at the Hungry Horse. After that we went to go visit my Granddad it was a bit of a tough visit as they had issues with his bed, so he went into a chair, and slipped out of it. I've never seen him so

panicked. But once he got a bit of help he did perk up and was talking like his usual self. Informing me and mum about about how he's on new medication and what our Nannie has been up to. I phoned her when I got home, having a good chat. Then Maddy came over and we had a good catch up as she has been busy with study recently. Emma joined us and we continued to natter. And then ordered from Pizza Express. I just love their dough balls. Eventually Dean turned up and we decided to treat ourselves to Sundaes Gelato. So overall a pretty good day.

June 8th was the start of a chilled weekend with Dean, where we went into the city, watched How I Met Your Mother and ordered a Dominos! My god the cookies from there are amazing. The next day we decided to go to the cinema and watch X-Men Dark Phoenix. I got a little uncomfortable in the chair, but it was a really nice night. We then begin labour week. It started late Monday night, where in the middle of watching How I Met Your Mother with Dean, I began to have some contractions. Not like really painful, or close together, just short and random. These continued into the next day, but still being to random to go into panic mode, despite the fact this was the day my daughter was due to be born. I therefore decided that it would be a good idea to ensure I definitely had all that I would need if I was to go into hospital the next few days, and my Dad thought he would come keep me company during this. The next day I had a midwife appointment, so I explained to her how I felt I was in the early stages of labour. She did the usual checks, and said that Baby Brown's head was fixed in position which was a sign. Therefore we just had to wait for contractions to become more regular, and that afternoon, with the help of Maddy and my mother, we began Labour Watch. Which basically consisted of us outside my flat, lunging and wiggling and timing. Finally we reached a very regular 5 minutes apart, so we headed to the hospital. Only to be told I was 1 cm dilated. So yay, I was actually in labour, but Jesus Christ all that for 1cm, I was so upset of how I was going to cope with the next 9. Dean Stayed with me that night to help me feel better, and I didn't get much sleep. The morning of the 13th my mum

picked me up so I could spend time at home, with people around to try and distract me from the pain of contractions. Which at this point felt a lot worse, but went back to being irregular. I had some great cuddles with my cat though. Then around 9pm they started to get really painful, and closer together, so once again I went to the hospital. This time I was told I was only 2cm. I lost my mind. But asked if I could have some other kind of pain relief, as paracetamol wasn't working, and I just wanted some sleep. So they said that I could stay overnight and have some morphine. Again I don't think that really worked for me and I didn't get much sleep due to painful contractions. It was a long night for me and my mum, but at least we had the bay of the ward to ourselves.

We get to the blessed day. Dean came to visit me in the hospital before going to work to check how I was, and after an examination I was now between 2-3cm, but the doctor said that because I was now 3 days overdue that they could try to speed things along for me, and listed a whole bunch of scenarios that I wasn't really paying attention to because I just wanted to sleep. Dean decided to take the day off, and me, him and mum began the brutal journey of my labour. But at 4.40pm my daughter was born! Nora Allyce Rose Brown. Who was 6lb13oz, and had so much hair. It was such a relief that all the pain was over. For a good minute. I then began the roller-coaster ride of additional problems, but at least she was okay. And Maddy stayed with us for the night, which helped me feel a lot more human after the week. That weekend Nora and I had a lot of visitors. Starting with her fathers family, then my good friends Emma, Amy and Jordan. It was
pretty weird watching them interact with her, because she is the first little human in our gang. It was hard enough trying to organise time to see my friends before hand, and now, well. I'm just glad I had this visit. After some rest and figuring out what life in hospital was like, it was somehow the next day. This is where I start losing track of days a little, because newborn routines just get you all kinds of confused. But it was now fathers day, which meant I did have to spend a bit of time with my daughters father...yay (please note the sarcasm). However I did get a visit from my own dad, and my sister. And wow the transformation those two have made, it's so weird to watch them interact with a baby. But I guess it's nice to have a glimpse of how my dad would have been when looking after me and my sister at this age.

Now the weekend was over I thought Nora and I would finally be able to make our way home, and start being like a proper family. I was mistaken, and ended up spending all of Monday, and basically Tuesday in the hospital. The food there was pretty good though. I finally made it home Tuesday evening, and mum treated me to a McDonald's. The first night with Nora went pretty well, and I think she enjoys her new home. That Wednesday was another jam packed visitor day, first being my Nannie, who was very excited to have a new little baby around, and constantly went on about how much hair Nora has. Then my mum arrived in the afternoon to see how we were, and to have more cuddles. I think at this point I was still waiting around for the midwife to come, as they say they'd visit the day after you leave hospital. She did finally arrive after 4, and said everything with Nora was going well. Shortly after Maddy joined, and even Dean came round, so I felt like I had a house full, but it was filled with the people I love so I didn't mind. The following day Siobhan came round and we had a good catch up about everything, before Nora got stressy so Siobhan had to go. My dad then turned up later on that day, because he believes if he visits without others being there he can get more cuddles. He is a strong believer that Nora is obsessed with his beard. Friday 21st I tried

to take Nora out for her first little outing. So after a feed I got her ready and just took her for a walk around the city. First chilling by the river, then exploring the mall. I was then thinking about taking her into my place of work, but then my mum phoned to say her and Dad had come to see us, so I felt I should get her back. Nora then had some lovely cuddles with them. Once they had gone, I fed Nora and we fell asleep. Which lead to some complicated things I don't really want to get into. But basically there is probably going to be a few gaps in what happens in my days, because it involves people I don't really want around, but have to because it's what is best for Nora. Or at least I'm told it's what's best for her.

Anyway... the parts of the weekend I enjoyed were hanging out with the wonderful Dean, who treated me to some ice cream, and gave me lots of cuddles to help me recover. That following week seemed a little busy, first I had my Perinatal Mental Health Worker come to check how I was doing. So I stated that in terms of being a new parent I was fine, which I guess is the main thing. Next day was then a visit from the Health Visitor, who seemed very impressed with how we were doing stating that Nora was very calm with me. After this visit I walked Nora down to Riverside to meet my family for food at Frankie and Benny's. Here I braved my very first public breastfeeding moment, which was an event. After this we chilled at Spoons, as it was a nice day and then I went home to nap. On Wednesday 26th I took Nora into the city, because we were offered a free photo-shoot, as part of the Window to the Womb scan gift-set. At first she was really good, but then in normal Nora fashion she quickly loses interest. Next day I had a haircut, which was like the first one in absolutely ages. But my hairdresser was very keen to meet my little baby, and hear all the recent gossip. After this I had a very long chat with my mum's good friend Jane, and she was offering advice on motherhood, and trying to take some good photos. I think then Friday was just a chilled day really with mum and Hal coming to visit. On the Saturday, I decided to take Nora out to see my Nanny in

Hemsby. She very much enjoyed the car ride up, finally falling asleep 5 minutes before we arrive. But once there, she wasn't having the best of times. I think the weather was a bit too hot for her. Which I completely understood, as I myself am not a huge fan of hot weather. She managed to calm enough to have a lovely cuddle with her great nanny (and even great auntie) and then we took her up the road for a little bit. And she had her first look at the beach. I mean it wasn't a full on beach experience, because she started to get a bit grumpAnd the final day of the month was a bit stressful, but I just tried to surround myself with my family and Dean to keep me sane. I'm so grateful to them.

And that's the month. Sorry it got a bit gobbledegook, but I became a mother, so my mind has just been, sleep, feed Nora, feed me, sleep. Well see you when I see you!

Superb Spring.

Hello, so once again I have failed to be consistent with the whole blogging thing. But in my defence I have been out living my life. Well I say out, most of the time I am indoors just chilling with the people I love and who make me happy. But I thought since it was now June (well it was when I began to write this post...), and I have who knows how many days until Baby Brown arrives, I should blog about what I did over the spring, as that is pretty much where my video diaries ended, and I went a bit socially silent on my blog. Again it's just because I was living it. So prepare yourself for an insanely long post that probably wont make much sense because I am sure I will have trouble remembering half of the stuff I had done.

 So the beginning of Spring wasn't very entertaining, my hours at work started to pick up, which was really good, but meant I was pretty tired a lot. And I was in a bit of a low mood following a home visit at the end of February. But here I vowed that I was going to make more of a focus on myself. Stop worrying about what other people are going to do, and just be happy in me. So I would try to get out and see people when I can. Therefore on Monday 4th I went to Frankie and Benny's with Maddy, because she had a voucher. We don't tend to go out for food together unless offers are involved. And I had some delicious pasta and a great chat with my best friend. Then at the weekend I decided to go back to the house and spend some time with my family. Which I have tried to do a lot more, because I must admit I did neglect them a little when I first moved out. So we had chips from the chip shop, watched Bohemian Rhapsody together and then the following day went to the Hungry Horse and went to visit my Granddad, which I need to try and do again before my child is born.

On Sunday 10th, once my parents dropped me back home, I just went to chill with Maddy, and then we made the decision to go bowling with Tom. It was the first time that I had played without the barriers up, and I didn't think it was possible for me to get any worse at bowling. This following week then got a bit busy, with various appointments, working, organising with my friends to go and see Captain Marvel on Tuesday 12th, which was so good. Love Goose the cat, he needed more scenes, and it was just nice to see some of my friends, as it can be hard for us all to find time together. On Thursday 14th Maddy met with me after I had work and we went to Ed's, and I then proceeded to spend more time with her at the weekend as we went shopping, swimming and then Tom joined us at Chiquitos. You'll also discover as this post goes on just how much I go out for food...


This next week I was at work all week, which was really good, as I
find that a good distraction. I still managed to find the time to hang out with my friends though. Seeing Maddy and Tom for an Ed's meal on Wednesday 20th, and then going to spoons with Amy and Paige the following day. These were good catch ups and I remember Amy and Paige discussing Baby Brown, and this is when the prediction of her being born on May 29th came about. So stick to the end of this post to find out if the prediction was correct. At the weekend I went to the house again, and the family and I watched
Guardians of the Galaxy 2, went to Sheringham, and then on the Monday we went out for lunch with my Nannie, so it was all pretty cute times. On the Tuesday I went to work and then for the first time in months actually had my haircut, it was needed. It's needed again now, that's how long it's been. Wednesday 27th was pretty busy as I had a midwife appointment, went to Fatso's with the family, and then had some chill time with my best friend, my husband, Maddy Warnes (yes just because the videos have stopped doesn't mean I will forget to refer to her like that sometimes). I saw Maddy the next few days as we went shopping and saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the cinema with Siobhan and Emma. That was a really good day, as I got all dressed up as Columbia (which is what the shopping the day before was for), and I had a great time seeing one of my favourite films.
Not much really happened to end the month, aside from Mother's day, and all my mother really wanted to do was get a McDonald's so that's what we did. Therefore we shall move on to April, which was an insanely good month. First we had another scan, because of my mental health, they just thought it's best to monitor Baby Brown's growth. I'm not complaining I get to see my baby more. Everything was healthy, she was a little on the smaller side of the range, but really that's what you want. Then I was working, so only really got to hang out with Maddy when we decided to go to Tesco together. But that became a frequent thing for us. On Friday 5th I didn't have the best day. Mainly because of the dreaded Glucose Test. If you haven't had one of these before consider yourself lucky. It's having to fast from Midnight before the appointment, so I was hungry and irritable, then have blood taken,

which I never enjoy because needles. Then I was forced to drink the worst liquid on the planet and only have water to make the taste go away. All before waiting around the hospital for 2 hours bored out of my mind, and had my blood taken again! My mum treated me to a meal at the Hungry Horse for all my pain and trauma. I had a pretty chill weekend, where the family went to Hemsby.

I describe Monday 8th as the three days in one, just because it felt pretty busy. It started with an early midwife appointment, but nothing out of the ordinary, then a pretty ordinary afternoon at work. When I finished I then got ready to go to spoons, which I was really nervous for. Basically for the previous week, I had been talking to this guy, and this was the first time we decided to meet in person. It was really nice, despite how nervous I was, because given what I have been through/am going through, I didn't have a high expectation of things going anywhere. But amazing things happen. Such as the 10th April, which was an amazing experience because I got to experience one of my favourite drag queens live, and got to meet her. Even though I met her before... It was a hilarious show, and I'm just disappointed in myself that I just went into a shy shell when meeting her. WHY CAN'T I HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE?! Anyway, it was a really nice trip to London with my sister, despite getting tired trying to navigate the tube. The next interesting thing was Friday, when after work, I went to go and see Captain Marvel again, this time with that guy I met, and it was the first time I sat in this handy link. I know exactly what you need in this post, more reading.

completely silent while a film was on. Because I didn't know what he would make of my fun comments. But I had a great time forcing him through all the credits as he didn't really understand the end credit scenes and thought I was lying to him. We then stayed up for hours just talking which was really nice. However, it made me very tired for the next day which was the beginning of the weekend
Birthday celebrations! Which you can read about

The next week was pretty much working, meeting Maddy for a milkshake, and getting to know this new person in my life. Towards the weekend was a little more exciting as I went shopping with Maddy on Friday where we decided to try out the new desert place in castle mall. Maddy always chooses such weird ice cream combinations. She was saying how she wanted to meet this new "friend" of mine so on Saturday 20th, which was an insanely hot day from what I remember. Myself, Maddy, Tom met with this new person to go Bowling. And I'm tired of finding creative ways to explain him, so I'm just going to go ahead and say his name is Dean. So we went bowling, and it was

really good. I managed to get a strike, and show off how bad I can be at bowling. Dean then showed everybody up by getting a turkey right at the end of the first game. And after we had played we decided to go on the arcades while Maddy, Tom and I waited to go to Siobhan's Birthday Meal at Pizza Hut. Which was a really lovely time as well. On Easter Sunday, I went with the family down to Hemsby where it's mainly all about playing Bingo, and my mum getting annoyed at how I win more than her. We had work the rest of that week, and a boring dentist trip, well not completely boring, I

was excited to see they had decorated the place, to the point I walked in thinking I was in the wrong building. Then there was just chilling with Maddy, and going with her on a very cheap date to pizza express and Sundaes Gelato. Man I love doughballs.

However on Wednesday 24th I had an eventful night, as I went to the hospital for a minor bleed. Normally they'd say it was fine and I shouldn't worry, but because I am Rhesus Negative, I had to have an anti-d injection. So Dean kindly took me down there, and I was hooked up to this machine that monitored Baby Brown's heart-rate, and movements, plus I was given a clicker to note when I felt her move. It was a little scary, but she seemed to do okay. They then explained how they wanted to examine me (down there) and my god that was not a pleasant experience. It did not help that the doctor who did it also reminded me of my uncle. Finally I had a blood test, and then proceeded to wait in the hospital for hours to have the anti-d injection. I think we turned up at midnight and I left at 4am. So it made me exhausted for the following days. But I couldn't be exhausted, for on April 26th Dean and I went to go see the much anticipated Avengers Endgame. I really liked the film. Loved New Asgard. Was distraught that there was no end-credit scene.

This hype lead me into a very good weekend as well. Where I had planned to meet with my sister on the Saturday, to which she decided to cancel, so Emma said about meeting up instead, and taking me to this vegetarian restaurant one of her other friends had told her about. So after a weird drive we parked at a Methodist church. And Emma proceeded to walk inside to check it was okay to park there. The main reason I followed her in was because it was pouring it down with rain. We then proceeded to have the weirdest time as she convinced me to go upstairs with her because she thought she heard someone, but then changed her mind, and then tried again. Now I know it seems suspicious but sometimes Emma does peculiar things. So finally she got me to go deep upstairs where I saw Maddy, and was filled with utter confusion. It turns out that my friends had planned me a surprise Baby Shower. I had the best time, playing bingo with Amy's fun rhyming, and then Emma had made a quiz. However, no-one seemed to remember what Ariel called a fork and it highly upset me. There was also a delicious buffet (even though I was really craving the food Emma was tempting me with) and they all got me some amazing presents. So I just want to thank them again for a great time. Sunday I then went with

friends to see Endgame again. Such a good film. The last two days of the month I had a couple of pregnancy related appointments. Decided to throw a games night with Dean, Maddy and Tom, where they were trying to teach me how to play Unstable Unicorns but none of it made sense, so we just played cards against humanity. On the final day of the month I went to Mecca Bingo with Paige, Josh, Amy, Jordan and Emma, and it was really exciting. We ate cake, played and just enjoyed each other's company. Unfortunately none of us won. But it was still a really good night, and I would like to go again if I had the chance.

Now we can finally move on to May, and my god this post is already too long. I started it off, with a midwife appointment, which went well, then I went with my parents to mothercare to finally purchase a car seat/pushchair. The woman was trying to convince me to get one in pink, and I was not having it. Then I took them to their first Chiquitos, and they rather enjoyed it. That afternoon I then attended my first antenatal class. Which was weird, because I was the only single person there, so it was a little upsetting to hear them talk about how the mum's and dad's will work together and all that. I also felt self-conscious because for being the furthest along I had the smallest bump. Aside from work not too much happened that week, until we got to Saturday where I convinced Dean to go to Hemsby. I'd like to think he had a good time. I certainly did. Apart from the fact he then kept beating me at the bingo, and with the gold card! We left with like 12 wins between the two of us, it was really good.

Monday 6th was a bank holiday, and because it was near to Paige's birthday, some of us decided to go bowling. And this was unlike any other bowling trip, because I actually did well. I got a strike on my first go, and won the game with 112 points. Which I know doesn't sound impressive, but trust that for me, it isn't going to get any better. Afterwards we then got some food at spoons, and ate some disgusting flavoured Jellybeans. The rest of the week was just working, attending more uncomfortable antenatal classes, and chilling with Maddy. On Friday Dean and I went on a date where I introduced him to Ed's Diner and Sundaes Gelato, and I think he was very happy because he wanted to go there again the following Friday, that time we went with Maddy and Tom. Well Tom met us for ice cream. However, before The four of us did that the 17th, we all went to Hemsby

together on the 11th. This was a really great day, because we all won a game of bingo, played lots on the arcades, and spent a nice chilled moment on the beach. I also got to show off my rather impressive mini gold skills, where I managed to hit the ball off course 3 times. But we remember that more than the hole's in one am I right? Stupidly after this busy day we decided to go to see Detective Pikachu at the cinema, but the only time was at 9. So first we went to Nandos to get some food, and then settled to watch the movie. And collectively we managed to watch the entire film, but pretty much all of us fell asleep at one point. I was awake enough to know the plot, which I felt was pretty predictable anyway.

That week wasn't very eventful, with work and baby related appointments/classes, so the only thing to really talk about was when my parents took me to Walcott on the 14th. It was a really nice beach, and the fact there was no-one really around made it even better. We also had a nice meal at this pub, and I just remember being intrigued by this big group of people, because some where dressed very fancy, and others were more of a smart casual, so I was trying to think of why they would all be there together. Then afterwards we went to go see my Nanny for a little bit, and I won the cutest Llama on the grabby machines in Hemsby. The following week wasn't very exciting with more baby related appointments, and working. Other than that it was just going for meals with my family, and chilling with Maddy and Dean. On the 25th
I did decide to go for a little afternoon tea with Emma, in which we tried finding somewhere we hadn't really been before. We settled on Eaton Park, which is a really nice little place to go. Only problem was had to wait half an hour for a pot of tea, which was pretty frustrating. But I loved having the catch up with Emma. Especially since she will be leaving to go to America in the Summer. (Well at the time I wrote this she's gone already :'( ) 

For the last week of the month, and the last week of spring I guess. I had ore of a chilled time. I finished working to actually relax a little before I give birth, as I'd say I spent a lot of time working, they kept asking me when I was going to finish. So my family took me to Hemsby again, which was basically arcades and bingo, this time Dean joined us, and he got to meet everyone. Which was really nice. We then had a lot of time seeing midwives, as I had my 38 week appointment, a growth scan, and another late night trip to the hospital! This time it wasn't as bad because I knew what was going to happen. Plus they said as I was going to be at the hospital the next evening for that growth Scan I could have the anti-d then instead of waiting around for it. Well I say that they made me wait around the net day, and Jesus it was too hot for my liking. But all was good with me and Baby Brown. Therefore, all that is left to say is for the final day of the month, my parents took me out for a meal at Fatso's, it was delicious, and I had a really nice dessert.

OH MY GOD, this post has taken me forever to complete. But like I said, and as you can hopefully see I have had a really good Spring, and I am hoping my summer is just as spectacular. Sorry again I am falling behind with posting, but I am extremely busy nowadays, and I hope when I finally get the next few posts up, you will see why.

See you when I see you!