Turning 21.

Oh my gosh I'm making a post! What is this life? But as you know I have been quite busy sorting out my life, and I am not quite there yet. To be fair I don't think I will ever have my life fully sorted out, which is probably why I end up being really stressed, because I like to have meticulous to stick by, but things recently have been out of my control and it freaks me out. Because my biggest stress is having time to do things. Which is why turning 21 was such a scary process, as it's supposed to be this big birthday, something special, and I just felt like I didn't have time to properly celebrate because there was so much other shit going on. I wanted it to be perfect, to the point where I probably made it shittier.

Don't get me wrong I had a lovely day, and I will talk more about it when I do my infamous vlogs about what I get up to each month, but I just feel like when I look back at turning 21 I won't think Wow that time was immense. You know? Which was no fault to those who helped make it special. Because I am so thankful to everyone in my life for putting up with me. How do you do it? Sometimes I just feel like I'm such a disaster to be around. Yet you are there. Some brave and brilliant people my friends and family.

So I'm not really sure what else I can talk about in this post, because I feel like some things I wanted to save for another post on it's own. Such as the progress of my moving out, or the events of my birthday, or how stressed out and pissed off work makes me. Man I could talk about some things for hours. But for this post I'm not really sure.

I guess I just wanted to say that I had this idea about what turning 21 would be like, and it was nowhere near my expectation. Not to mean it still wasn't good. Just not what I think. And maybe that is my problem. I get too in my head about how things should be. So on reflection of the last 21 years on my life, I need to care a little less. Have FUN. Great now I have the fun song from Spongebob in my head. Anyway. I need to stop sweating the small stuff.

Another thing, which my mum tells me I need to do is stand up for myself, be more adult. Because sometimes I think I have so much fear of how I'm going to be perceived it makes me very naive and a pushover. Which isn't going to get me very far in life.

Conclusion: Appreciate those around you. Appreciate you.

Look at me being a self-help blog.

Sorry this didn't make sense, I just felt like I needed to post something. Hopefully the next one will be better.

See you when I see you!