A Bit Of A Workaholic.

So I mentioned in my reboot blog post. (If you haven’t read that yet I’d go check it out, but I’ll just recap anyway if you are too lazy). That I have actually made a new friendship group. Not one to replace my already existing bunch, but one to just have alongside to keep things interesting, and make my work life a little more enjoyable.

Don’t get me wrong I really enjoy my job some days. It’s my dream job working with children. But like every job there are certain people, certain little things that just get to you. Like the hours you work, or the way you get spoken to. So I’ve become part of like a little in work club. However slowly those involved are leaving because they want to be somewhere different. And there are days I feel like that. But being able to have a little rant to them is helping me get through the next year and a half I have to stay there to complete my course. It’s so dependent on how I am treated in that time of if I will continue.

But back to the group. It all started when the first person left. I felt honoured she actually invited me along, because even though I had been there a year I had never really mingled with them outside of work. I’m glad she did, for I had such a good time. Now we just kind of do regular meet ups to catch up. I don’t really talk to them much about the situations going on in my own friendship groups, like I don’t really talk to my friendship group about them. I like to keep it a bit separate. Not that I’m cheating or anything, I just feel comfort knowing I always have someone to go to for the different things I need.

It’s almost like I am two different people, living two lives. My work and my home. I don’t really have a preference. I was about to say I am having the best of both worlds and quote some more Hannah Montana and became slightly disgusted with myself.

Moving on.

The only downside to the whole thing is that there are some people at work who don’t take to well to being left out. Which I kind of get because I do hate being left out of group situations. But they do go about making people feel uncomfortable. Which is the only reason they weren’t really invited in the first place. Like if I’m not invited I just have imaginary conversations in my head and get over it. If not it’s just petty.

But some people’s attitudes are one of the main reasons I don’t really like being at work. I just have to power through I guess. It’s difficult though when you feel like your whole life is just overpowered by this thing. And that’s not what I want. I’ve always been one of those believers in family before a career. Because as long as you have people to go home to that will cheer you up, I believe I can get through any difficult days at work.

If not just find things to distract you. Like reading my blog. Because I mainly write it to distract myself from the more suckish parts of life. See you when I see you!

A Difficult Situation.

One of the things I love in life is sarcasm. I don’t know what it is about the way my brain is wired but when someone says something. Anything. I just want to say something sarcastic to lighten the mood a bit. Some people can refer to this as banter. Some people can refer to this as bitchiness. But if you know me well enough you know what I’m like. You know I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. I just like to add the sass.

So here comes the difficult bit. Accurately portraying this though the use of social media. I mean okay I know sometimes when I say something it can come across as bitchy and towards certain people, yes I may mean every ounce of bitchiness there is. But that person isn’t my friend, and he knows that. To everyone else it’s just how I joke with them. Which is why they never flag it up as a bitchy comment. Why am I talking about this you may wonder? Well a certain someone I feel is trying to put me down, and turn everyone against me. He says I’m bitchy and he just tries to call me out on it because no-one else does. Well maybe no-one else does because they see it’s a joke, because they actually understand what I’m like.

It’s so frustrating having this person in your life. Especially after they made it perfectly clear they don’t want to even be part of your life. The worst bit is a lot of my friends are just allowing it to happen. So far one of them (that I officially know about) has spoken to him about it, which is how I know the whole calling me out for bitchiness thing. But slowly one by one more people are starting to tell me they are tired of the way he is acting. Will they say that to him. I don’t think so.

Reason number one being. He has formed an alliance with a fellow group member. As in they are together in a relationship. So people don’t want to single him out in fear of losing her. Which I don’t blame them for because in fairness I didn’t want to do that. Because she was a good friend to me. However, out of nowhere (and if someone actually does understand where this somewhere actually is, please let me know) She’s just turned on me. Like once she didn’t let it go about taking a pill properly, I assume just to belittle me. And another time she insists I’m childish after I apologise for what it is I have said.

Once again I turn to the others worried it’s just me who believes this. But they are starting to see it too. She’s become a lot bitchier (not just my words). I feel like both of them try to pick holes at you. Maybe it’s because they aren’t happy enough in their own lives. But I can’t judge that. I’m starting to feel that when I’m not in the chat they then try to go after Claire. Which is 100% not on.

What can you do though? Because no matter what I think I can do it will just cause a shit storm for the group. It’s difficult. So far I feel the best way to deal with it is to become less involved in the group. But how is that fair on me? I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask for him to break up with me. I didn’t ask for him to start dating her and them to have some kind of vendetta. So why should I be the one forced to be exiled? Obviously I am not going to allow myself to be fully excluded. But I feel for now the best way is to have a little space. Focus on some of the other things I like doing to distract me. Like writing this blog, watching YouTube, spending time with my parents. Doing my coursework. Even though I don’t necessarily like doing that, it’s beneficial to my job so I’m killing two birds with one stone really. Not that I condone killing animals.

Could you guys offer any advice? Not that anyone really reads this and provides any response. It’s just a past time. I’ll keep you updated. See you when I see you!

Promises To Break.

Well it's that beloved time of year again. The time to convince yourself you are capable of change, and can achieve the list of things you want to do to better yourself. When let's face it, that will never happen. Especially with me.

Now to begin I like to look back at how well I achieved my last set of resolutions, because shits and giggles. So here goes the failure.
First we had the classic. Losing weight. And as I never actually weigh myself this is an entire mystery. But I do feel like I am better. I'm not where I expected to be.
Next there was considering driving lessons. I have indeed considered them. Have I made any actual progress? Fuck off.
Then we have saving money. Which I am very good at in all honesty. I mean apart from my recent spendage on people's Christmas presents but we shall not discuss that. There has been a lot more going on for finding a place to live. And At this moment in time I haven't found a place, but Me and Lish are hopefully going to live together, and I've been putting in enquiries for places. Hoping to schedule a viewing. But organising that is difficult.
I did actually pass my level 2 apprenticeship, now working on Level 3. Woop. Woop.
A discovery was made with my next resolution when I look back at the year. I was an angry person, because I was with someone who didn't make me happy. So I have become less angry, I mean don't get me wrong I can still get so mad I cry, and people irritate the hell out of me. But it's not as often and I would say I am definitely more happy than I am angry than I was last year.

Now being more social. I feel I was rather adequately social, and I have had some amazing times with my friends and family.
Finally there was blogging more. Let's just all laugh that one off shall we? Ha ha ha HAHAHA. Sorry.

So that is 7 failures. Should we have 7 more? Can I even think of 7? Let's find out. 

1: Move out. I feel like if I do not move out by my 20th birthday I am not living my life properly I'm not saying if you're 20 and living with your parent's you are not living your life properly. But it is just not what I imagined for my life, and not where I want to be. 

2. Learn to drive. I'm not saying I want to have passed by 2018. But I would like to have actually started some lessons. 

3. Exercise more. Aka. Lose weight. Well I just want to have a different body shape. Like get rid of the chub. The best way I feel to do this is actually exercising. Toning my body or whatever. So I have a plan!. Small challenges that increase daily, which means I'd get better at doing different exercises and they would actually make a difference. 

4. Stop letting people who mean nothing to me get to me. I know that is a contradiction because if they get to me they evidently mean something in some form. But I don't want them to have this negative affect, and I need to get better and cutting them out of my life. 

5. Be more organised with coursework. I seriously need to stop stressing myself out the day before all my coursework is due. Enough said. 

6. Bringing the debate back to whether or not to get tested for Huntington's disease. Not to sure about this one though. 

7. Keep up with the consistent blogging. Because I do really enjoy blogging and it keeps me sane!

So here we go 2017. Please be a good year. I mean we've had a good start, let's keep it up. Pray that I can complete these tasks. I know some are a definite no. But that's why you need to stick around, see if the fantasy can become reality. See you when I see you!

And That Was 2016.

So everyone was coming to the end of 2016 saying. IT'S ALL SHIT, PLEASE LET IT END ALREADY. And yeah in a way I agree with it, there were some shit bits. Like all those celebrities dying, politics essential fucking everything up, and the incident of March 31st. But that shouldn't stop me from looking back going. I had a good year. because there were moments in which I had some amazing times. And all today (as I am writing this on 1/1/17) I have seen people posting pictures of some of their favourite moments of the year, and I thought I would like to do that as a blog post. So here goes.

January 8th- Bowling at Namco. Amy could possibly kill me for this picture but embrace the weirdness is all I will say. I liked this trip because it was at a different bowling place to what we were used to, and it was pretty fun. I mainly remember taking lots of weird photo's with everybody, with one even featuring myself Amy and Emma trying to show off our bowling shoes in the same frame as our fun facial expressions.

So there is a gap here. Not because my life was that uneventful, well it kind of was. But mainly all it was going to work and seeing my ex who, as you would know if you are a regular to my blog, I have deleted from my life. Therefore we jump ahead exactly 3 months after. Weird.

April 8th- I love this because pretty much everyone came together to join in celebration for mine and Maddy's birthday. Even though it was a week before, but that was because people were heading back to Uni. It was such a fun night chatting to everyone. Also like the only group event in which I was single. So pretty important part of 2016.

April 22nd- It was a more quiet group gathering for Siobhan's birthday, but still lots of fun dressing up, playing just dance, and myself getting slightly tipsy on Peach Schnapps. 

May 7th- This was a cute little beach trip with the girls. It was fun because it was different. There was singing in the car and building Elcaplam, then going on the arcade and the Waltzers. 

July 23rd- We had so much fun on this trip we went to the beach again, with a few differences, and it was so good. Need to do this again next Spring/Summer!

Sorry about the time jump, just thought it made logical sense. But then again it doesn't. Oh well no going back now!

June 10th- First time experiencing gravity for Connor's birthday. And despite going after walking there from work (it's over an hours walk) I had a really nice time. We even went to Pizza Hut after and it was just great.  

July 1st- More bowling, and this one was good because as you can witness I got a strike, and it was in the best way possible, and all the guys who were try harding, were very jealous. I also got to take silly pictures with friends, and I love this one because I love Maddy.

July 22nd- This picture isn't from that day, it's actually from December 10th, but this is basically to show the rekindling of my friendship with Scott. Which was unexpected, but I'm happy it happened, as he allows me to rant and is there to listen. 

Another time jump, filled with another Gravity trip (fighting friends in Gladiator style), and more bowling (seeing what new creative ways I could lose in). There was also drinking at various group things, like Scott's birthday where I drank from the pitcher and we met Pablo, and let's not forget drunk bowling! I did enjoys these moments, but I didn't want to repeat myself too much. There was also little meet ups in the city which I didn't really get pictures of. 

October 31st- Not my typical halloween, but I loved in nonetheless. It was the start of a new tradition of meeting up with the girls I've worked/work with. I felt like I finally fitted in. 

Another time jump, through bowling on Claire's Birthday (getting a little drunk and completing a shopkins puzzle, after getting mad at people for stealing a piece) and more of the work meet ups.

December 20th- The Great Christmas meet up. I have talked about this in another blog and shown the big group photo, but I wanted to show this one because I'm actually looking.

Obviously they were just a few of the moments, and my friends have made 2016 a pretty great year considering everything else that happens. I hope you all have a wonderful 2017, and I hope I do as well. See you when I see you!