Ashamed.

Hello everybody. So you've probably been wondering where I've been. I say in hope that someone actually reads this, even though I know that no-one actually gives a shit. Anyway. Yes I have not blogged, or vlogged or something along those lines, and it really fucking irritates me. But I just have not had the frame of mind to do so. A lot of stuff has been happening whether good or bad, and I just hasn't felt right to sit and focus on this particular task. So, to myself mainly. I'm sorry.

Nonetheless, it's a new year, so it's a time to make plans  for improvements. And if you know me you'd know I'd need a lot of improving. So let's review the list I made last year to see how well I improved on them, before ultimately making my new resolutions, to better myself. Here we go.


1: Move out. HAHAHAHAHAHA. 

I mean this year I did make an awful lot of progress, going to flat viewings and actually applying for a place, but I soon realised that it was not going to happen because I do not earn enough money. So really it was not my own personal undoing but the unfairness of society. 

2. Learn to drive. Yeah this has not happened either. Haven't even looked into it. Thought about it, is as close as I will go. At least for now... But essentially this failed because I just simply did not have the time for it

3. Exercise more. Aka. Lose weight. This one I can proudly say I am achieving. Yeah I started in October, but I still actually started and am still sticking to it. Basically I have tried dieting, and cutting down on calories, and I have been on the odd jog and do some exercising activities. At this current point in time I have lost 6.1kg, and I'd say that deserves a round of applause from me. 

4. Stop letting people who mean nothing to me get to me. There's been a lot of drama this year that I am not proud of. But I'm proud that I've made the decision to stay clear of it now, and I am happier for it. You just have to move on right?

5. Be more organised with coursework. Another laughable moment. I just keep telling myself there is only 18% left. 

6. Bringing the debate back to whether or not to get tested for Huntington's disease. I was right I didn't stick to this one. There's been to much other things going on. Recently I thought about it a lot, but I think with what is going on I'd rather not know my fate. 

7. Keep up with the consistent blogging. Well I did achieve this up until December, so I am counting this as a win. I even brought back the vlogging regularly for a brief stint. The last couple of months have not been the best okay. But hopefully I can try to keep it going, because it is a nice escape. 

So that was ultimately a fail. And I thought to myself that I shouldn't even bother for a task this year, because these all end up the same. However, in the true spirit of New Years, even though we are 4 days delayed. I will give my one, yes one, resolution. Which is....

Be Happy In Myself. 

Yeah I just simply want to end 2018 thinking that I am actually proud of who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin. I am the reason I am happy. 

There we go. Check in next year to see the outcome! But check in between that time, because I don't want to go through this journey alone. See you when I see you!