Aspirations.

Hey everybody, so recently I have been thinking a lot about where I want to be. I mean I think about this all the time especially around new years, but the past week or so has been a real. I want this. So what better thing to discuss in this blog post? For some of these aspirations we actually have to give a little back story. So bare with me.

Firstly I think everyone knows that I want to move out. This is for different reasons. Wanting my own space to allow me to be more productive and social, but mainly it's because I am somewhat ashamed of where I live now. I have lived in this house my whole life, and honestly I have not treated it like a home, I know this when I go to other people's and see how nice everything looks. And I want to change this. But the problem was that for years it built and built to be... well.. a shit hole. Then when I finally wanted to change it, it got to the point of being too much. The idea was crazy. So basically I went for if I move out. I have that clean slate, a place I can be proud of. However, as I have mentioned a few times, I am not financially able to do this.

Anyway, I finally had some time off work and thought, I am going to tackle this beast, well of my room anyway.  So I did. And I had a stressed out breakdown. Because there was so much crap hidden under the bed and in the cupboard, I just started running out of places to organise the mess. And I'm very perfectionist when I do something, and the fact that I couldn't complete something because of something made me very like I don't want to do this anymore. But once you start a task like this you might as well finish. However, I thought to myself that even once these places are tidy. I'm still not going to be happy in this room. because it's not the masses of stuff that made it a horrible mess, it's the room itself. The walls, the floor, the furniture. So I spoke to my good ol' father and he said we can try to fix these. Therefore, I am now in my extreme planning mind. The plan is to get rid of all the crap I don't want anymore. Once that is gone, I can sort out the remaining things a lot better. Dad said he is going to help cut off parts of my bed. Because it has these really weird poles that don't actually do anything. And we're going to upgrade my furniture, and hopefully repaint my room. I also want to either get a large rug or re-carpet, haven't thought enough into it yet. 

However, these ideas to me are dangerous. because I end up getting all hyped up over things going a particular way, I have a really hard fall, because from experience something goes wrong. But I have to try and think positively, and hopefully it will pay off, and I can have a room I am proud of so maybe I can save some more money to not move out right now, and I can spend it on a holiday or something. However, now I don't have that time off work anymore, and I have to try and continue with making the space better and I just feel I am not going to stick with it.

Do not fear you will find out how this goes, and I am sorry that this post, and probably that post, is weird. But you've read the title of this blog, what else do you expect? Common. I'll see you when I see you.