Stressing Out.

Hey guys, so this is going to be a quick post, because of what the title states. I'm stressed out. Maybe is the links with my arrival into adulthood, maybe it's about how I know people who speak before thinking leading to disastrous consequences, or maybe it's because I just overthink those things. Who knows fully what the cause is. I know more recently my stress is coming from work. I'm contracted to do 40 hours a week but I'm there more like 50 and for me work doesn't end at work, because when I get home I have to do coursework to pass my level 3 and it's like they don't think about that or try to help me in any way and I'm just a bit sick of it.

Time for me is a very worrying factor, and it's not that I'm not organised, I have an action plan of what aspects of coursework I want to complete by when, and it's very manageable. But the problem is it's not, because I am exhausted. All of the time. And it's making my social life pretty shitty because I want to go hang out, go out, and I then panic that I am too tired and would have work early or there is a mountain of coursework left to complete. Which annoys me. Because as much as I do enjoy being at work. It's not my life.

It's a difficult situation at work at the minute which is why I think everyone is stressed out, but it feels like no-one is trying to boost the moral of the team. I've gotten to the point of finding it very difficult to motivate myself to actually get out of bed and go to work at the minute. And I hope it will sort itself out eventually, because this is not the life I signed up for. But right now I don't see anything changing to make me happier.

This is why my blog post has been lacking recently. Which I really hate because to me this is my escape and distraction from things that stress me out. But I guess I am trying to be responsible in the sense that I know blogging will take time away from doing productive things like coursework or from sleeping. Both things I probably need to do more. So I'm sorry about that. I am trying at least. Maybe that's my problem. I try to do so many things, please so many people. Would it be better to just be selfish and think about myself?

I don't know. But I do know that I will see you when I see you!

2 Decades Old.

Birthdays are weird when you think about it. You spend so much time worrying about who you want there, what gifts you must get and how it goes to make it perfect. But does it really matter? Because I don't actually remember much about my birthdays.

For example last year I went to the cinema and then hung out in an arcade with some friends and then met Matthew for the second time, he got me some Ferrero Rocher, I remember vaguely what other gifts I got, and I also remember that the week before I went to Nandos with a big group, and the only thing I recall from that is talking about my Tinder experiences and going on Snapchat. The year before I was at 6th form and myself and some friends decorated cupcakes Amy got me. The year before I played laser tag. Who won, I have no clue. 

Then any birthday before that I could barely match up what happened to the year. I remember going to the cinema, and having some sleepovers. I know for a fact my cousin came to my 13th and that is when I tried smoking for the first time, and then failed dropping it onto my trampoline. There was also one birthday where my mum took me and my friends to McDonald's after ice skating..I think...and Hariette treating them to a McFlurry but one of them didn't say thank you and she jokingly made a big deal out of it. And when I was really young I remember friends coming to my house and we played netball (as I had a hoop in the garden) and I got so angry and upset because they wouldn't let me win on my birthday. 

It's so weird thinking that out of my 20 birthdays I only remember a minuscule amount about like a 1/4 of them. Yet I spent so much time worrying that they had to be perfect. Don't get me wrong I still worry. Like to me it is very important who I get to see on my birthday, and it does tend to stress me out trying to balance everybody in my life. Luckily this year I got to see most people I wanted to, aside from a few friends. And I did have an amazing birthday, even though the weather did fail me. But I didn't let that stop me. However, I am too busy to finish my birthday tale in time for the post to go up, so I guess you'll just have to wait. 

Sorry about that. See you when I see you!

Snapchat.

Hi there. Today we are going to have a pointless little post just to fill
the space until something interesting happens in my life. So the topic is Snapchat. More specifically Snapchat filters. Which have been around for God knows how long, but I have only had access to them for the past 4 months. Luckily they still get used. This reason being because my old phone never updated enough to get them to work, so when I got my new phone it was basically for this reason, and then when at first it didn't work and my sister laughed in my face. However, as you can tell by the pictures and the fact there is actually a post means that it did!






Now a theme I enjoy about the snaps are how they do try and change what ones you can use daily, because I
admit I'd get pretty bored if it was the same thing all the time. Which is why I do have a hate for the over used ones such as the dog filter. Sorry I just can't. And then some are just slight variations of the same one, like with all the bloody types of flower crown. Although I do admit I look good in the flower crown. Which is the main reason I like the filters because it makes me look 10x better on a good day, imagine the possibilities on a bad one!

I don't really know what else to say
about Snapchat. I enjoy the story feature and getting random images or videos from someone. And I do enjoy how it cannot be permanently viewed unless you take a screenshot. Not that I send anything crude enough for me to want it erased. I mainly just send selfies to Matt in the latest filter update and then move on with my day. Occasionally updating my story if I can come up with a fun enough tag line, or there is actually something going on in my life.









So as there isn't really that
much in depth to talk about I thought the best filler would be sharing some of the saved pictures I have of me in my more favoured filters. Enjoy!

See you when I see you!