Coping Mechanism.

When you are as emotional as I can be, you need to find different ways to try and deal with that without making it as awkward for those around you. Even though 90% of the time I do fail at this.

As a child I used to play with dolls, and as much as I hate to admit it, I continued playing with them for much longer than what is considered socially acceptable. But that was my coping mechanism. I indulged myself in the pretend world of the dolls to take my mind of the stressful things in my life. Lots of time I would use them to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone I thought would make the situation worse if I actually have it, so that way I could process and move on. Nowadays I still have the pretend conversation, just don't act them out.

Another method I use is what I am talking to you now on. I have mentioned many times I see this blog as my therapy space, because to me I don't imagine many people read this. Or at least read it and care. So it provides me with the freedom to express my feelings without any judgement. Yeah I could just write it all down and not publicly share it, but it's the sharing that helps. As my manager said to me the other day "a problem shared is a problem halved". Some posts I do feel a bit weird about sharing, like the ones about the genetic disorder because I feel they can be interpreted as a cry for attention. But none of this is. I blog for two reasons: To have something to read back and remember the nice times, To have an escape where I can cope. Because if I don't tend to express my feelings to anyone I do tend to explode. I mean I do that anyway. And I really regret when I do that because I say things I don't really mean. If you have ever been on the receiving end of that I am sorry.

Other than this my main coping mechanism is talking to people who make me happy, such as my friends. Even if it is just talking about nonsense. Or I do just find various distractions, such as Youtube or reading, to pretend the problem doesn't even exist. Because if I have no reminder of what brings me down it won't bring me down.

But everyone has different ways to cope with different situations. And you may not think it is the responsible way to deal with things, but if it helps us personally, why should it matter? Unless you think it is actually more damaging just accept that is the way it is going to be. I know this is a bit of a weird post but it's my way of coping ;) See you when I see you!