I don't even have to name you, and you are well aware that you are the person I am talking about. It's why I love you so much. You just get me. And let's face it, you are probably the only one to read this anyway.
I've had lots of best friends in the past. And that's probably because I am a shitty best friend. I've hurt people, and I hate myself for that. But when I hurt you, when I thought you didn't want to see me anymore, it was worse than losing all those other best friends combined. It was like I lost a lifeline. And it turns out that I hadn't lost you. (Which quite frankly I would not blame you). And it was the greatest feeling. It made me think about how much I do truly value your existence. How grateful I am for all the choices I made that meant we ended up meeting, to being what we are now. You are the Lily to my Robin, the Linda to my Heather (I will be very disappointed if you do not get that reference) I hate how much I took that for granted. When I went to that place, you said I could come to you, and I didn't. I don't want to be a burden to you. I truly believed that you would be happier without my sorry ass dragging you down. And now I know how much that hurt you, and it got me thinking about how I do not want to do that again. It's not going to be easy, because as I've said to you, that negative state I get into just doesn't care. But slowly there is a voice fighting back, and the more I think about it the more I realise the voice is yours. You are going to be my strength. Because I trust you with my life more than I trust myself. I'm not going to promise you that I'll be the perfect best friend. Because with my track record I will just let you down. I don't want to let you down.
Out of all my friends, I've known you the least amount of time. But we just connected. And even if we drifted apart a little, we came back stronger. Like we were never away. I always know I can rely on you. I always know you will join me in referencing something weird. You make me more outgoing, you make me more confident, you make me happy.
This may be a really weird post, but I just wanted you to know you are my best friend. And I am going to try so hard to deserve to be yours.
I love you.
See you when I see you.