A Crying Domino Effect

I was not looking forward to today, not at all. I would have much rather been where I had originally planned to go which was bowling with my friends to celebrate Siobhan's Birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIOBHAN! But sadly that could not happen, because I had to go to a funeral. 

Funerals just suck, but I guess it's closure. Cause now you know the person is truly at peace and other things like that. But I was still scared about it. I couldn't sleep and I was just worried I was going to have some kind of breakdown in front of people. Also I had to light a candle and I kept thinking I was going to muck up and I really didn't want to because it was so important. So yeah. I think I was ok, well as ok you can be at a funeral. When I got there I was strong and when I saw the coffin I was still all "you'll be fine" but when I got inside it was just ugh.

It kind of made everything so real. Because up until now I never really admitted to myself that my granddad had passed away not 2 weeks before. It's just strange, and I don't really like talking about it. Cause I feel like mentioning it means I'm just looking for sympathy or something, when I'm not, and I don't particularly like people knowing my business. But yeah I guess I need to talk about it a little, cause bottling up my feelings isn't good.

So basically inside the little place I was all yeah it'll be ok. But then next to me Hal started crying, so I instantly started crying cause I hated seeing her upset, and apparently she was crying because dad was upset, and because we were crying my mum cried. So it was like a crying domino effect. It wasn't good. But after this we were all better. Cause like I said Closure. 

After this thing, we had a gathering where I spoke to some people I have never met before. Then the family and I went to the pub. 

But in conclusion Funerals suck, but without them you wouldn't be able to really move past the death of a loved one. Hmm...Anywho sorry about a kind of a down blog, but yeah...School tomorrow. GREAT! (Said super sarcastically) Ugh. See you in the 'morrow!